The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind

Embarrassing...

2011-01-29T14:10:00.000-06:00

Words just fail me in trying to describe this video of Bill O'Reilly trying to explain... umm... something!

Wow. This isn't even wrong. It's just babble. A part of me wants to just feel sorry for the dumb bastard for pissing away his entire life when he could have gotten something of an education. Talk about wasting your years. Bill could have learned something other than how to pretend to be tough. Instead, he seems to thrive on ignorance, and he cowers from those smarter than himself (which is a large part of the population) by lashing out with comical rage and calling them pinheads. He's like a doddering, old fool trying to program a VCR while threatening to stab anyone who attempts to show him how to do it.

This is clearly one of the stupidest things I've ever seen or heard. And the fact that he can beam with such arrogance over his willful ignorance and stupidity while still considering himself an adult human being really just makes me cringe with embarrassment for the poor guy.

Bill O'Reilly is probably the greatest example of the hazards of American anti-intellectualism. We're in the 21st Century, and this poor human being is still grappling with questions that have been asked and answered hundreds of years ago. He possesses no foundation for intellectual advancement, and as a result of his arrogance, this is all he will ever know.

-DP

Here Comes the Sun...

2011-01-19T08:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, this is weird.

Residents of a town on the western coast of Greenland may have seen the sun peek over the horizon 48 hours earlier than its usual arrival on Jan. 13, sparking speculation, and disagreements, over possible causes.

The town of Ilulissat sits just above the Arctic Circle, meaning its residents had been without any sunlight for a good chunk of the winter, and traditionally they'd expect to see their "first sunrise" on Jan. 13.

News that the sun had peeked over the horizon on Jan. 11 appeared online in British and German-language publications and it appears to trace back to a story by the Greenland broadcasting company KNR that quotes residents who noticed the change.

Living where I do and hating winter as I do, I refuse to believe that this is an illusion or a hoax. I see it as a sign of good things happening, and we're one day closer to those precious 75-degree days. If they get here two days earlier (let's see... That makes it a Thursday), I'm good with that.

No. I'm better than good with that. I'm freakin' great with that.

-DP

O'hai!

2011-01-18T21:33:00.000-06:00

Ya know, a while back, just as I sat down to start scribbling in this dwindling collection of mad ramblings and sundry observations, I went out and picked up a Kindle and spent countless hours with little more than ~~cups~~ mugs of tea and a ton of delightful words.

It's strange. When the Kindle first came out, I found myself thinking that I would never really use something like that. I'm a fan of books, after all. I like the heft and scent of a big hardcover. The feel of a cumbersome tome in my hands is comforting, and when I finish the book, close it with a 'thunk' and admire the distance I traveled between those two covers, I feel a sense of sublime accomplishment. With this odd, little gadget, there is none of that.

What it does have is convenience. All books, from a tiny novella to a Dostoevsky opus, are the same size. They fit into this little device, and that little device fits into my pocket, and suddenly, instead of hoisting around a ton of dead trees for my entertainment, my hands are free to pick my nose, hold a mug of tea or what have you. Plus, shopping for books is a hell of a lot easier for a reclusive, little rodent like me.

It's nice. Of course, I still love my books though, and I don't think anything will ever come along to actually replace the joy of reading actual paper. The Kindle does it's best, and it does an amazing job, but it just can't match the deep and ancient connection people have to holding the printed word all bound happily in our curious hands.

So far, for what it's worth, I think my favorite read on the Kindle was Paolo Bacigalupi's novel, The Windup Girl. That's a book that genuinely surprised me. The writing is astounding and brilliant, and it pulls a person into Bacigalupi's imagination with ease. It's dark. It's dystopic. And, as you read, it's easy to see that the world created in this novel is a very, very probable thing. The only complaints about the story is that it can feel a little fragmented or disjointed at times, and the ending felt a little hurried. But, all-in-all, it's a damn fun read, and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for dark, speculative fiction.

Other than that, I'll try to be back to writing in here tomorrow. Right now, however, I'm smashed tired and ready to crash.

-DP

It's the Season for Pompous Lemons

2010-12-19T08:25:00.000-06:00

Here. Have some Pomplamoose:

Neat. I kind of adore the voice of Nataly Dawn (They're the ones doing the Hyundai commercial, by the way). She makes that whole singing thing seem almost effortless.

Oh! And, and if you've got a few minutes to kill, do yourselves a favor and give a listen to their version of Mrs. Robinson. It's a few kinds of cool.

-DP

Think You've Got a Rough Shoveling Job?

2010-12-16T14:07:00.000-06:00

Oh look! It's a quaint and charming, little lighthouse on Lake Erie:

Now watch as Lake Erie plays a little joke on the quaint and charming little lighthouse:

-DP

Man-Up, Nancy Boy!

2010-12-16T10:49:00.002-06:00

This is not a sober American!

No. I don't really understand why John Boehner's default reaction when asked to explain himself is to cry like a Girl Scout with skinned knees and a box of broken cookies. To me, it seems like nothing more than the garden variety act of sociopaths who really, really just want to get their way by playing upon people's sympathies and emotions in order to divert the logical steps their victims take when saying no. After all, it's one thing to say no to someone who's an asshole, and it's another thing trying to say no to someone who is defeated and vulnerable to the point of crying like a baby.

It honestly makes me wonder just how far Boehner would go. Would he, for instance, when begging for more tax cuts for his uber-rich corporate masters employ the rarely-used tactic known as the "Cry While Holding Kitten" gambit on the house floor? Or, in a drunken rage, would he take a hostage in order to shut down National Public Radio?

On the one hand, Boehner blubbered like a baby when asking ~~Dad to let him have the family station wagon Saturday~~ Congress for more funding to kill innocent people in Iraq.

"After 3,000 of our fellow citizens died at the hands of these terrorists, when are we going to stand up and take them on?"

On the other hand, this year, when it came time to provide funding to help care for those Americans who became ill as a result of bravely plundering the toxic rubble in search of survivors of those attacks, Boehner's beady, little eyes were dry.

Dude's all over the emotional map, and some have suggested that Boehner's incessant drinking is to blame. However, I don't think that's entirely right. I think Boehner's an addict and a sociopath, and like any addict he will literally do or say anything to make sure he gets what he needs. If he thinks crying his little eyes out will get him the votes he needs to secure the financial gratitude of his wealthy donors, he will humiliate himself without reservation. Remember: This is a man who stood on the House floor and handed out checks from the tobacco industry to fellow members trying to decide on whether or not they were going to vote for tobacco subsidies. He's as bought and paid for as they come these days, and tugging at voters' heartstrings seems to be his favorite course of action when getting people to support his mind-bogglingly extreme ideas.

Personally, I think it'll be fun having this infant sitting in the Speaker's chair. I don't think his tenure there will last very long as people do tend to grow tired of such transparent tactics rather quickly. If nothing else, though, it should be fun to watch.

-DP

Busker Do!

2010-12-06T14:35:00.000-06:00

Barry of the Waffle and Whinge blog turned me onto this video in the comments of the previous entry, and it's pretty awesome.

I hold a special place in my heart for street performers and musicians. I love the fun or intriguing spins they can put on tunes that have, for all intents and purposes, been utterly played to absolute death. And, they do so with nothing more than a vision and whatever instruments they have that are in playable condition.

There's something really genuine about that, and I wish more of today's tedious pop acts would challenge themselves on dirty street corners a million miles away from the auto-tuned tripe they claim to sing.

Thanks for the link Barry!

-DP

Not Letting it Be.

2010-12-06T08:43:00.000-06:00

I finally got around to watching the video of all the beautiful people lip-syncing to The Beatles' song "Let it Be," and I was kind of surprised I actually liked it a bunch. So, here ya go:

It was pretty cool seeing all the pop culture icons from my squeaky childhood, but perhaps the greatest moment was when they showed the guy from Milli Vanilli lip-syncing. Fab Morvan's waited about thirty years to have his talents appreciated.

-DP

Hurr... Derp...

2010-12-02T09:57:00.001-06:00

Someone needs to remind the traitor, Eric Cantor, what fills the void in people's minds when you remove education.

For those of you playing at home, I'll give you a hint:

Imagine if America were more nimble in terms of science education. Imagine the discoveries? Better yet, since we're a nation of amazing arrogance, imagine the global glory our nation would receive for these discoveries?

We can't keep milking that "putting a man on the moon" thing forever, people.

Many Kinds of Awesome!

2010-11-29T15:08:00.000-06:00

Now, this Tweet from the Buffalo Bills' receiver Stevie Johnson has been blazing around the internets for most of the day, and it makes me giggle a bit.

So many times, we hear professional athletes credit god with their victories, but never do we hear them blame god for their losses. So, this is actually really refreshing.

Now, for what it's worth, I feel pretty badly for Stevie Johnson, but after seeing the post-game press conference, I'm impressed how he stood there and owned up to his flub. He seems like a decent fellow and a pretty damn good receiver, and anyone, regardless of talent, can always manage to drop the ball.

-DP

A Small, Noisy Evil.

2010-11-25T11:51:00.000-06:00

The other day, the fantastically tiny-minded, Conservative chest-thumper, Glenn Reynolds rattled what remains of his tortured brain and composed the following example of compassionate conservatism:

JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW: North Korea fires artillery barrage on South. If they start anything, I say nuke ‘em. And not with just a few bombs. They’ve caused enough trouble — and it would be a useful lesson for Iran, too.

Really, Glenn? You've become so unhinged that you would attack and kill tremendous numbers of an oppressed and impoverished people solely to send a message designed to terrify another, entirely different nation.

There's a word for that tactic, asshole. It's called terrorism (look it up, Gomer), and it shows just how dangerous the Republicans' slavering horde of small-minded, finite-thinkers genuinely are. But, you know, for kicks, let's take a look at the target of this drama queen's emotionally-vacant, big-American-dick-waving, genocidal rage:

From the Wiki:

In 1992, the North Korean government launched the "Let's Eat Two Meals Per Day Campaign" in an attempt to cut down food consumption.[7] By 1994, people in some remote areas could not get food for days at a time, despite being issued the usual rationing coupons. As infrastructure throughout the country was collapsing, the distribution of food was breaking down and, as a result, shops were empty.[8] The vulnerable agricultural sector experienced a massive failure in 1995-96. In 1995, a series of floods devastated about 40% of North Korea's arable land.[9] As a result, grain production was reduced by 1.9 million tons, or about 30% of the total amount of grain necessary to feed the people. This trend continued in 1996. In 1997, North Korea was the victim of drought.

Wow. These sound like some genuinely dangerous people hell-bent on killing us all with their Super North Korean Army. And, you bloated fuck, there's more:

Although sometimes the figure is said to be as high as more than 3 million, or 12% of North Korea's population, this figure is considered problematic because it is based on the experience of North Koreans in the province of North Hamgyŏng. The province was one of the most devastated due to its urban environment and lack of agricultural production. Additionally, the original study warned not to extrapolate the death toll of the famine to the whole of North Korea.[12]

By late 1995, the North Korean famine was becoming public knowledge all over the world, and by early 1999 it was being estimated that two to three million people had died prematurely because of the food crisis[13]. Scholars estimate 600,000 died of starvation (other estimates range from 200,000 to 3.5 million).[14] The famine was at its peak in mid 1996 to late 1997, much of the destruction occurred in this year.

Feel good about nuking these people yet, Glenn?

North Korea has not yet resumed its food self-sufficiency and relies on external food aid from China, Japan, South Korea and the United States. In 2002, North Korea requested that food supplies no longer be delivered. (Woo-Cummings, 2002)

In the mid-2000s, the World Food Programme reported that famine conditions were in imminent danger of returning to North Korea, and the government was reported to have mobilized millions of city-dwellers to help rice farmers.[16][17]

As of 2009, famine continues to be a problem for North Korea, although less so than in the mid to late '90s. Flooding in 2007 and reductions in food aid exacerbate the problem, however[18].

And that's just a little history on the devastating famine. I don't think I need to go into the reality that much of the North Korean population are little more than political prisoners being fed a daily diet of propaganda by an ego-maniacal dictator. In other words, they are the very definition of innocent victims, and Glenn Reynolds wants to nuke them out of existence.

Really, Reynolds? You want to nuke a starving and fettered and innocent people for no other reason than the simple fact that you're a terrified, bedwetting infant with a deviant's fetish for terrorism and big explosions?

Wow. I think Conservatives should be overjoyed to have such a sick, twisted, ego-maniac like Glenn Reynolds belching this fevered and emotionally dead propaganda to satisfy they near-sexual obsession with setting innocent people on fire.

Seriously, Glenn? I'll give you the explosives. Just, you know, blow yourself up first. Humanity won't really miss you. Conservatives have a stable full of frothy-mouthed toadies desperate to replace you. And, America would only lose a clownish, terrified imbecile with no concept of reality or rational thought.

Happy Thanksgiving, Reynolds. Did you get enough to eat?

-DP

What I See.

2010-11-25T07:16:00.000-06:00

It seems like everyone is showing off their desktop this week. So, here's mine at t moment (I change this thing pretty frequently):

I can't remember where on the intertoobs this picture came from. It's out there somewhere.

Does it say strange things about me?

-DP

Time for a Brick to the Head.

2010-11-23T12:20:00.000-06:00

"I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree. I studied journalism, who, what, where, when, and why of reporting. I will speak to reporters who still understand that cornerstone of our democracy, that expectation that the public has for truth to be reported. And then we get to decide our own opinion based on the facts reported to us." --Sarah Palin

Yesterday, a friend of mine sent me an email asking me to translate the latest word salad from Sarah Palin, a woman who could be America's next president (no. I'm not saying she has a snowball's chance in winning. But, if she wants to be a candidate, you kind of have to address her as such. It's the honest thing to do, don't cha know. Plus, it scares the ever-living shit out of people that someone so blatantly dim and incoherent could feel themselves qualified for a job that, as we've seen earlier this decade, requires a person to not be so blatantly dim and incoherent).

Now, I've kind of puzzled over this puddle of narcissistic gibberish for a while now, and I still can't decide what the bloody hell this woman is attempting to say. I'm sure that Communications degree (which is actually a Journalism degree) somehow makes her believe she's qualified to reinvent journalism. However, Palin's definition of journalism seems to be little more than demanding that reporters print only one side of her story. Yes. It is censorship. And, yes. She's voicing her desire to abandon those tricky things like facts and truth about her so as to create a resource to propel her propaganda unto what she hopes are the oblivious masses who see news as entertainment. It's an extension of her reality show, if nothing else, and Palin's definition of journalism sets the principle of objectivity on fire and reduces the much-valued aspect of honesty in unbiased communication into a pile of worthless ash. After all, if she truly valued objectivity and honesty in journalism, she wouldn't be working for Fox News, or any other news outlet, while harboring desires to be a potential presidential candidate.

Moreover, she's also trying to tip the playing field further by calling out her critics and preemptively labeling them as biased. The sad thing is, this desperate tactic will work for some people in this country, and if she decides to run, they will go to the voting booth to cast a ballot solely out of pity for this poor, persecuted, malignant narcissist.

More succinctly, Sarah Palin is actively seeking to be pity-fucked straight into the Oval Office.

Personally, and I know this will never happen, I'd like to see the mainstream media take Sarah Palin up on her offer and just flat-out ignore her. When her people are reduced to begging for airtime and interviews, I hope those appeals are reported and quickly dismissed as nothing more than the pleas of a deranged and desperate human being who lacks the intellectual wherewithal to function as anything more than a vapid wannabe celebrity.

America, as a nation, should be far too civilized and educated to see Sarah Palin as anything other than an anti-intellectual fraud who speaks only in ridiculous soundbites and vilifies those who approach her seeking only honesty as opposed to the manipulative ramblings of a sociopath. In other words, if a so-called journalist can't name one newspaper she reads, it's not a reflection of the person asking the question. It's an indictment of the ignorance and paranoia of the person answering the question. If such simple questions are too difficult for Palin to handle with honesty, well... what does that say about her as a leader?

Now, I'm not going to say that I won't write about this idiot anymore. I don't really have much of a desire to do so, but I will on one of two conditions: Either she does something incredibly brilliant or worthy of me saying "way to go. Maybe I'm wrong about you." Or, she does something so mind-numbingly stupid like belch out the highlighted utterance above that insults me to the point where I want to scream "shut the fuck up you yammering, waterheaded cow!"

-DP

I will say that I am secretly hoping she enters the presidential race for no other reason than the selfish desire to see the hilarious creativity that shows up on the bumper-stickers and campaign signs of her supporters.

About 26 Years Too Late

2010-11-19T08:17:00.000-06:00

So, it seems like America is rapidly turning into the bleak, dystopic hellscape of Orwell's 1984 where fear is safety, war is peace, poverty is success and whatever other doublespeak catchphrases you can concoct.

It's a little sad to see this country collapse in upon itself as it struggles to react not to legitimate threats, but to anything our crazed and fevered American imaginations can create. Seriously, consider the humble, yet weaponized, garden-variety nail-clipper. This little tool, designed for a simple task, has been given the power to not only make your delicate hands look pretty, but it can now bring down a jumbo jet and turn our precious nation of freedom into a burnt-out theocratic wasteland of oppressive Sharia law where our only recourse to end the inevitable suffering is to cower and bow to Mecca and worship Allah.

If you can imagine it, it's a threat, and every squeak of the mouse is something to fear.

Break a shoelace on a flight, and your fellow passengers, ginned up with fear and suspicion as a result of an endless protocol of questions, gropings, x-rays, and more questions, will shit their ever-loving selves silly to see something as innocently non-conformist as a broken shoelace.

Cigarette lighters, bottles of water, a block of cheese, that little doo-dad you picked up thinking it would look neat on a keychain. All these things are now weapons that could bring down an airplane and take away our freedom.

One of the better things you'll read today is a piece by security guru Bruce Schneier on, among other things, the irrational, "deadlier than terrorist" (which is to say that they're really not all that dangerous) backscatter x-ray devices hastily being put in place just in time to ~~give Michael Chertoff a little more spending money this Christmas season~~ fuck up your Thanksgiving Day travel itineraries.

Good luck, America. When our nation was attacked, we all had a choice. Fear or bravery. What you see going on today is the result of that choice we made.

-DP

Howdy!

2010-11-18T23:16:00.000-06:00

The other day, I got a flu shot while visiting my friendly neighborhood Rheumatologist (okay... That's a little much. She's not entirely friendly and her neighborhood is hell and gone from mine, but she does get the job done, I guess), and, for whatever reason, this time around, it kind of waylaid me with a minor league bout of yuck.

It's strange. Some years, like last year for instance, I tend to just feel a little malaise that clears up within an afternoon. However, other years, like this one, it hits me with a hacking, stomach-churning, nightmare that, thankfully, also clears up in an afternoon, but leaves behind some lingering aches and pains.

Nonetheless, my guess is that it has something to do with starting up my Humira again after a six-month hiatus thanks to some clueless, bureaucratic cock-nozzle who insisted I wasn't allowed to take it because they didn't cover it. I called in a rage, which, after exchanging telephone pleasantries, lead to the following exchange:

"Are you familiar with computers, young man?" I asked with all the cloying, patronizing, assholiness I could muster.
"Of course," he said. "I work on one all day long."
"Oh," I continued, "then you must also be aware of the internet then, huh?"
"Yeah," he said with a chuckle.
"Does your outfit have a website then?" I asked. "It really would make things so much easier in this day and age."

"Of course," he began. "Our website is w. w. w. dot blahblahblah. dot com.."
"Thanks a bunch," I said as I typed in the address and pulled up the site. "Oh look! A handy patient information page! And, you've EVEN got a PAGE devoted to the medications YOUR company covers!"
"Yes we do," he said happily. "You and your doctor should be able to look at that list to see what we they can or can not prescribe."
"Oh, thank you, young man," I said. "That really should help."
"You're most certainly welcome," he said. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Ummm.." I said. "Just one more thing."
"Sure."
"Can you look at that medication page and tell me what that H. U. thing is?"
"Of course."
"I have a smudge on my monitor, and well, I don't have anything to wipe it off with and..."
"It says 'Humira'," He said.
"And, does it say that you guys cover it?"
"Oh yes," he said. "It turns out that we do cover it."
"Oh," I said. "So, when I refer to you in this piece I'm writing, would you rather I call you a liar or just maliciously lazy?"
"Let me get my supervisor."

You know, when those people out there tell you that it's important to be proactive when it comes to your health care, it turns out that they're right.

Oh! And, if you're in one of those at-risk groups (You know who you are), go and get a flu shot.

-DP

To Those Who Serve and Have Served...

2010-11-11T10:22:00.000-06:00

Thank you!

-Dan

Things that Make Me Laugh!

2010-11-09T13:49:00.000-06:00

I don't know why, but this just cracked me up.

I'm not sure which is the funniest, though. I like them all.

-DP

Scientology: A Challenger Appears...

2010-11-08T22:14:00.000-06:00

I like the Reptilians.

It's not that I'm one of them. Oh no.

As everyone knows, even though their food is delicious, those Reptilians are just not to be trusted. Plus, they always keep the thermostat about three degrees south of human flash-point. Don't get me wrong, I like the heat. But, you know, let's not just go crazy with it okay?

Still, as bad as the Reptilians are, those rat bastard Pleaidians are freakin' horrible. They're lazy, and they're just coming to Earth, to have anchor babies. Seriously, I can take the Draconians coming here and taking our jobs and leeching off our health care and other social services, but if we're not careful, this planet is going to be ankle deep in yammering little Pleaidians begging to be fed.

Anyway, I don't know if this video is serious or not, but who the hell knows these days?

-DP

Happy Monday!

2010-11-08T07:38:00.000-06:00

Last night, I sat down to scribble out a "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" style of post. I wanted to give everyone an update on the goings on in my world. I figured it'd be a nifty thing to do since this blog has been limping along for the better part of a year or two.

That was the plan...

And then I turned on the Packers' game last night and laughed my ass off as they thumped the Cowboys.

And then I turned on The Walking Dead and allowed myself to be all kinds of creeped out.

During commercials, I switched back to the Packers' game for a giggle.

Then, back to zombies and gore.

Then, football..

Zombies..

Football...

It was kind of a wild transition going from one to the other like that. It was like being at the circus, buying some cotton candy, and finding a really cool bug in it.

-DP

Oh yeah... I'm Coming Back.

2010-11-06T20:40:00.002-05:00

On Monday... Until then, enjoy the musical stylings of a talented young man named Davey Gilmour and a few of his friends. This kid's going places.

-DP

Freedom, Patriotism, and the Awfulness of The Constitution...

2010-08-30T10:45:00.000-05:00

I've tried pretty hard not to weigh in on this whole "Ground Zero Mosque" debate. It's a silly thing, and it's exposed a pretty sad and shady underbelly of latent, American rage that is tiresome and woefully impossible to dispel.

As an atheist, I'm perfectly happy if nothing ever gets erected again in the name of superstition and cults. I see religion as little more than a colossal waste of time and effort. But, that's just me, for the most part. I also understand that not everyone is like me, and that's a probably a good thing. After all, if nothing else, it would confuse the pets.

The thing is, I would rather religion disappear as a result of reason. It should never be beaten or legislated out of someone, leaving an ideological vacuum to be filled with equally irrational belief. For example, the Catholics tried that during the less-than-sunny days of the Inquisition, and, well... It ended badly for pretty much everyone. I'd like to think that humanity has come a few steps since those dark days; however, when I look at the protests surrounding a building that has less to do with religion and far more to do with providing a community a place to gather without fear, I can only shake my head.

To make matters worse, America's Bedwetters (they call themselves Patriots or Real Americans), have convinced themselves that not only is Sufism not the cohesive, peaceful faith it claims to be, it's also, actually, a festering hub of anti-American sentiment hell bent on converting every citizen in America to Islam against their will.

Now, naturally, here in the land of the free, these patriots, like every American citizen, are certainly welcome to their own opinions. And, they should be free to belch those opinions, and scare the shit out of as many people as they please. Unfortunately, they're not entitled to their own facts, and, sadly, not a single one of those opinions seems based on anything even remotely resembling a fact aside from the bladder-draining notion that there are going to be Muslims inside this building.

Egads!

Now, I'm lazy. Really. Like a freakin' log. So, naturally, in this state, I'm not going to go and ferret around the internet in search of the exact number of Muslims who were killed in the attacks on September 11^th. I will say that, no matter what they build on the exact site where the towers once stood --be it an office building, a museum, a park, a Starbuck's or a McDonald's-- there will, to the disdain of these befuddled patriots, be Muslims in these buildings.

Actually, I should rephrase that last bit there. Let's try this: "...there will, to the disdain of these befuddled patriots, be Americans in these buildings."

There. Now, like all other Americans, they have the right to go wherever the hell they want. Problem solved.

Personally, I think a large part of this conflict comes at the hands of Christians identifying and seeing themselves as Christians before they identify and see themselves as Americans. It's led to a distorted view that places a person's religious faith before anything else, and it's turned this country into something of a mock-theocracy. They say that America is a "Christian nation" when, in the deep reality of our history, it's nothing more than just a nation. And, it's a good nation when it wants to be. It's a nation where people of many ideas, opinions, beliefs and shoe sizes come together to make it work. Putting something as irrelevant as individual religious faith above all of that, has only created elitism, division, entitlement and conflict, and those are hardly the hallmarks of a country claiming to be free.

The Constitution is actually a fabulously brilliant document. However, it doesn't belong to one group of Americans more than it belongs to another group of Americans. For instance, the Constitution doesn't protect Christians more than it does Muslims. And, it doesn't protect Muslims more than it protects Jews. And, so on and so forth until you get down to the ONE person in America whose spiritual beliefs are uniquely individual and shared by no one else. That one, tiny person has just as many freedoms and protections as the Muslims, the Christians, the Jews, the Pagans, the atheists and everyone else. To exclude one is to exclude all.

-DP

A Separate but Equal Observation...

2010-08-22T00:16:00.000-05:00

In reading the internets lately, I've come to the conclusion that if someone utters the phrase, "I know we have freedom of religion in America, but..." there's actually a very good chance that they, in fact, don't know a thing about freedom of religion in America.

-DP

The Long and Crowded Walk of Bed-Wetting Bigots...

2010-08-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

Really.

I'm astounded by this quote from king of the Christian daddy-issues, Franklin Graham:

Reverend Franklin Graham, son of renowned Christian evangelist Billy Graham, said Thursday that the reason a growing number of people believe President Obama to be a Muslim is because he was, in fact, born into that religion due to the "seed of Islam" that was passed to him through his father, Barack Hussein Obama, Sr.

"I think the president's problem is that he was born a Muslim, his father was a Muslim. The seed of Islam is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother. He was born a Muslim, his father gave him an Islamic name," Graham told CNN's John King.

Yes. He actually said it's a "problem." Like, you know, it's a problem if you're born black. Or, a problem if you're born female. Or male. Or, heaven-forbid, French.

The problem is not whether Obama was born a Muslim, the problem is that Franklin Graham, and way too many others in this country, have a problem with people who are different from them. It's sad, and Franklin Graham is simply a typical, pathetic human being and garden-variety bigot.

But wait... There's more:

"The confusion is, is because his father was a Muslim, he was born a Muslim.

Religion is a choice. Franklin Graham was no more born into Christianity than Obama was born into Islam.

The Islamic world sees the president as one of theirs.

Doubtful. If they did, and if you honestly believed this, you bedwetters wouldn't be living your sad lives in state of constant fear of the next terrorist attack.

That's why Qaddafi calls him 'my son.'

I call you an asshole, Mr. Graham. Does that make it so?

They see him as a Muslim. But of course the President says he is a Christian, and we just have to accept it as that," Graham explained.

Two words: Jeremiah Wright. If you Conservatives are going to bitch and moan about the brand of Christianity practiced in the Christian church to which Obama belonged while in Chicago, it's hardly a sensible thing to suddenly, a scant few years later, start branding the man a Muslim based on nothing but your own petty and pathetic desire to vilify him for your own personal gain.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday: Surprise!

2010-08-11T12:04:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday: Dog Days o' Summer Edition

2010-07-21T12:56:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday: I Got Yer Sammich Right Here!

2010-07-07T17:06:00.000-05:00

G'head... Tell me to make the sammiches again!

-DP

*No Emilys were harmed in the creation of this blog post. What you see is the result of a long walk through a mosquito-infested, Wisconsin swamp. (Poor babby!)

Wandering to Where the Miles Refuse to Matter.

2010-06-27T13:37:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!

Here are some shots of the insanely fun road trip Emily and I took earlier this month.

It might be best viewed in full screen if you are so inclined. There's a lot of pretty-pretty out there in the desert of this country, and the Grand Canyon is something everyone should try to take in. Unfortunately, you have to go to Arizona to see it, and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

Now, it's time for me to scamper and baton down the hatches as yet another storm rolls through my part of the land of cheese.

-DP

Music Monday: Poets.

2010-05-10T09:08:00.000-05:00

Here! Have some Natalie Merchant putting the words of 19^th Century poets to music.

I like this little effort. The words seem to fit quite nicely with Merchant's intriguing and unique voice.

-DP

Mayo!

2010-04-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

I posted this video elsewhere today, but I thought it'd be nifty if I slapped it up here for your enjoyment.

I love my immersion blender, but I never thought to make mayo with it. So, yesterday, I changed that and whipped up a mayo with a little added dijon and truffle oil that went into a chicken salad that was freakin' delicious.

Give it a whirl if you can. There are few things better in life than home made mayonnaise.

-DP

So Long, Sonoma...

2010-04-19T11:49:00.000-05:00

This is one of the most disgusting displays of inhumanity I've ever read.

Clay and his partner of 20 years, Harold, lived in California. Clay and Harold made diligent efforts to protect their legal rights, and had their legal paperwork in place—wills, powers of attorney, and medical directives, all naming each other. Harold was 88 years old and in frail medical condition, but still living at home with Clay, 77, who was in good health.

One evening, Harold fell down the front steps of their home and was taken to the hospital. Based on their medical directives alone, Clay should have been consulted in Harold’s care from the first moment. Tragically, county and health care workers instead refused to allow Clay to see Harold in the hospital. The county then ultimately went one step further by isolating the couple from each other, placing the men in separate nursing homes.

Ignoring Clay’s significant role in Harold’s life, the county continued to treat Harold like he had no family and went to court seeking the power to make financial decisions on his behalf. Outrageously, the county represented to the judge that Clay was merely Harold’s “roommate.” The court denied their efforts, but did grant the county limited access to one of Harold’s bank accounts to pay for his care.

What happened next is even more chilling: without authority, without determining the value of Clay and Harold’s possessions accumulated over the course of their 20 years together or making any effort to determine which items belonged to whom, the county took everything Harold and Clay owned and auctioned off all of their belongings. Adding further insult to grave injury, the county removed Clay from his home and confined him to a nursing home against his will. The county workers then terminated Clay and Harold's lease and surrendered the home they had shared for many years to the landlord.

Three months after he was hospitalized, Harold died in the nursing home. Because of the county’s actions, Clay missed the final months he should have had with his partner of 20 years. Compounding this tragedy, Clay has literally nothing left of the home he had shared with Harold or the life he was living up until the day that Harold fell, because he has been unable to recover any of his property. The only memento Clay has is a photo album that Harold painstakingly put together for Clay during the last three months of his life.

With the help of a dedicated and persistent court-appointed attorney, Anne Dennis of Santa Rosa, Clay was finally released from the nursing home. Ms. Dennis, along with Stephen O'Neill and Margaret Flynn of Tarkington, O'Neill, Barrack & Chong, now represent Clay in a lawsuit against the county, the auction company, and the nursing home, with technical assistance from NCLR. A trial date has been set for July 16, 2010 in the Superior Court for the County of Sonoma.

This is infuriating, and it's nothing more than people being incredibly cruel for no reason. In light of that, I have no desire to ever purchase another drop of wine --or anything-- from or associated with Sonoma County. To see this sort of thing in this day and age is unforgivable. I don't care if it's bigotry toward a homosexual couple or the mistreatment of the elderly, the actions of Sonoma County are inexcusable.

-DP

I Love Spring.

2010-04-16T13:42:00.000-05:00

Since I live in Wisconsin, and since, for nine months out of the year, the forecast usually involves some threat of snow, when spring rolls around, I tend to get a little geeked. And, when I see things like my chives springing up from the permafrost of the herb garden, I start drooling and slobbering like Pavlov's puppies.

Yesterday, I trundled out to the garden, grabbed a handful of my favorite chives, and dumped them into a bowl with some flour, salt, yeast, garlic powder and water.

Behold!

It's some pretty damn yummy garlic chive bread that I baked off this morning (I managed to eat about a third of it before I got around to taking the picture).

The flavor is perfect. It's not too onion-y, and the garlic is in there just to provide a small, subtle hint to blend with the chives and the stupid amounts of butter I slather on each slice. It's not too far off in taste from an onion bagel, and texture wise, it's a little English-muffinesque.

Aside from that, I don't think I really have to go into any detail on how freakin' mind-shreddingly awesome this bread smells when it's cooking. It's bread, after all, and let's face it, even bad bread smells awesome when it cooks.

Nonetheless, I went back and revisited the No Knead recipe Steamy Jaden posted on her blog ages ago. It's stupid easy to make, and I'm looking forward to throwing more crazy things into various loaves as my little patch of herbs comes back to life.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday: Spring Break!

2010-04-14T08:22:00.000-05:00

-DP

Music Monday: Got Tools?

2010-04-12T09:48:00.000-05:00

I love this so much:

Wordless Wednesday: MIND WAR!!!

2010-04-07T07:00:00.004-05:00

-DP

Music Monday. Back to Botswana.

2010-04-05T09:49:00.000-05:00

This time, it's a man named Condomise playing a tune called "Mabelete" on a Fenjoro made from an old plastic jug, some bits of wood and stings crafted from a car's handbrake.

Why is it that the most awesome music seems to always come from places where traditional musical instruments are almost impossible to come by? I suppose it's the authenticity of it all, huh?

Oh well... I hope you enjoy.

-DP

Music Monday Wednesday: Punishment!

2010-03-31T22:41:00.000-05:00

Last Monday, I don't know what happened. I was doing some writing, fiddling around, and before I knew it, it was Tuesday. Then, as Tuesday is wont to do, it did its thing, and, once again, before I knew it, it was Wednesday night and I found myself sitting around thinking "I missed something. I missed the silly and pointless Musical Monday. Damn!"

Needless to say, I kicked myself. And, still, that was not punishment enough. So, dear readers, I'm sorry, but to try and make sure this sort of thing never happens again, I went out upon the internets and found what could very well be the most god-awful, skeevy, horrendous, nightmare murdering of a song. And, I will post it upon this valued space as a perpetual landmark to my own failure.

Do not enjoy this, dear friends. All I ask is that you weep with me.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday: Eeeevile Edition!

2010-03-31T07:36:00.000-05:00

Passing thought.

2010-03-30T11:36:00.000-05:00

With the bust of the Midwestern Militia loons and nutcases, I once again find myself grappling with a very old question:

How do the neo-Nazis feel about the redneck teabaggers waving signs that call President Obama Hitler?

-DP

Know Your Place.

2010-03-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

Wow... Just... wow.

Women were not allowed to speak or vote Sunday as men from a Baraboo church voted to fire the principal of the church's elementary and middle school.

[...]

Supporters of Hartwig said they were shocked to learn that women church members would not be permitted to speak during a meeting to decide Hartwig's fate.

I'm really ashamed that this sort of thing could happen in my state and that anyone would willingly join this sort of backwards cult.

Women who wanted to ask questions at the meeting were told to write them on a piece of paper and have a man read them aloud. But some, including Hartwig's own daughter, said their questions were never read.

"I actually passed three or four questions to a church council member and none of them were read," said Emily Rae Hartwig. "I guess the way I felt about it, and the way many others felt, was that they were afraid of us (women). A lot of my dad's supporters are women."

I think I'd find a new school and a new religion if that sort of thing is important. And yes, they most certainly are afraid of women. I've never been able to really understand why, but the Abrahamic religions are flat-out terrified of women to the point of covering them up, silencing them, and any number of brutal and vile horrors.

-DP

A Dialogue With Idiots?

2010-03-24T09:56:00.000-05:00

How on earth can you reason with a person when the Ink of Information is poison in their eyes?

Now, I'm not what anyone would call a fan of James Cameron. He's had some movies that I've loved and he's had some that I've absolutely hated. I suppose that's the nature of his industry, however, and I know well enough that a bad movie is not a genuine reflection of a man's character. He seems like a nice guy.

Anyway, he recently said this about babbling mancild-extraordinaire Glenn Beck:

At the news conference, Mr. Cameron went on to say that Mr. Beck “certainly is dangerous, and I’d love to have a dialogue with him.” There was no immediate response from Mr. Beck.

Why? I don't understand why anyone would feel that Glenn Beck is someone worth having a dialogue with. His entire existence is that of a troll whose sole meaning in his worthless life is to misinform, distract, and disrupt. Beck will not learn and he can not be taught. Many have tried. Like Limbaugh, he's a terrified addict who has replaced (or enhanced) a dependence on chemicals with a dependence on attention, and he will do or say anything to get that attention. He will babble to the most ignorant of America. He will play upon their small minds and irrational fears of the lowest common denominator to feed his terrified ego. He uses them to maintain an image of himself that he desperately needs to cling to for fear of tumbling back into the familiar life of the common, dysfunctional addict.

Cameron would be wasting his and everyone's time attempting to talk any sort of sense to the raging bundle of petulant and childish insanity that is Glenn Beck. Beck simply is not worth the breath it takes to propel the words from one's mouth to his ears. Life is too short, and the only people of worth who should be actively seeking a dialogue with Mr. Beck are well-trained psychological professionals.

Case in point:

Glenn Beck needs serious professional help.

Unfortunately, he refuses to get the help he needs, and, like a typical addict, he attacks and lashes out at those who try to educate or help him, and he feeds his own guilt and fear into the heads of anyone foolish enough to listen or care. And, his viewers, those poor individuals out there who've had their already intellectually-atrophied brains reduced to a sludgy puddle by embracing this man's insanity and dangerous theatrics, will unfortunately find that violence is the only solution to help and protect Glenn Beck's paranoid ramblings and confused sense of self. A shared insanity is a very dangerous thing, after all.

Personally, I really don't care about Glenn Beck or his viewers. And, James Cameron shouldn't as well. In fact, anyone with any sense would most likely do well to avoid any dialogue with Beck for fear of becoming yet another target for his maniacal-Mullah-esque daily fatwas whose issuance only seeks to evoke his irrational and violent believers' collective rage and fear.

Let Glenn Beck call you "elitist." Let him call you the antichrist. Let Glenn Beck call you every name in the book. Just don't reduce yourself or your worth by thinking you can join him in the cat-shit cluttered sandbox of his own intellect and teach him something that will save him.

It's not going to happen.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday.

2010-03-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

Musical Monday: Four-String Botswana Hoedown.

2010-03-22T08:31:00.000-05:00

Say Hi to Ronnie:

Wild.

-DP

Didn't See That One Coming.

2010-03-20T10:22:00.000-05:00

You knew this typo just had to happen, didn't you?

They should never, ever collide though... Ever.

-DP

Haha!

2010-03-19T13:44:00.001-05:00

This is wonderful...

Conservative lawmakers and pundits already have many grievances against the Democratic health care reform plan, but Rep. Steve King of Iowa and Fox News personality Glenn Beck are adding one more to the list -- the vote scheduled for Sunday.

Yes. Sunday, Sunday... Sunday!

"They intend to vote on the Sabbath, during Lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God," King said on Beck's radio program Thursday, the Hill reports.

Beck chimed in, "Here is a group of people that have so perverted our faith and our hope and our charity, that is a -- this is an affront to God."

I'm pretty sure Glenn Beck actually perverted Glenn Beck's faith a long, long time ago. And, as for Steve King (R-aving lunatic), who cares if he shows up or not on Sunday? I mean, gee, Steve? Maybe you should keep your sabbath and just, I don't know, stay in bed.

Nonetheless, if these two simpering halfwits want to demand that America respect the personal, individual importance of this thing called a Sabbath, then, fine. I demand that both of these idiots actually KEEP the Sabbath from now on. Rep. Steve King's and Glenn Beck's every action on Sunday should be documented by learned Sabbath-watchers to make sure they aren't, you know, being hypocrites.

After all, I'd really hate to think that Glenn Beck and Steve King are lying to the American people when they talk about the importance of the Sabbath.

-DP

Breakfast of O'Champions!

2010-03-19T10:25:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about St. Patrick's Day, in my opinion, is not so much the drunken debauchery --though, that's got its perks as well-- but, I'm going to have to say the leftover corned beef and cabbage and sundry other rooty vegetables are just some of the best things to fiddle around with.

For example, the day after (or week after depending on how many leftovers there are) St. Pat's Day usually finds me enjoying one of my most favorite breakfasts of all time. When I go to bed St. Patrick's Day night, the recipes and wonder and excitement all dance around like little foodie wisps inside my brain. And, when I wake up, the first thing I do after making coffee is peel containers full of eggs and meat and veggies from the fridge. Then, the din pots and pans clamoring on the stovetop begins as a pan gets heated and a pot of water and vinegar boils. After that, the staccato thwap of a chef's knife on a cutting board and a wet splat and sizzle of boiled potatoes, cabbage, carrots, parsnips, rutabagas, onions, etc. joins the rumble of kitchen noise as things get pitched into the pan and last night's dinner is left to think about what it's done and what it's going to become.

The sound of eggs cracking as their contents are emptied into little cups joins the kitchen as the memory of dinner seeps back into the room in little whispered hints of scent. The toast goes down, the eggs go into the water, a lid is slapped on somewhere and coffee is consumed while the waiting, the best miserable bit of breakfast, begins.

A switch is thrown, Maillard achieved, toast boings from the box, and the scratch-like peal of a butter-laden knife mingles into the gurgle and hiss of cooking.

The corned beef hash is piled on the plate, the eggs are scooped and strained from the water to be placed gently and strategically on the pile of crispy leftovers. Toast is sliced, coffee is poured, a seat is taken, a fork is grabbed, and, Damn!

Do I ever love making breakfast the day after St. Patrick's Day!

-DP

Oh yeah... He's a Rowdy Punk.

2010-03-18T11:09:00.002-05:00

If you're not getting Congressman Alan Grayson's auto-emails, you're missing out on some fine and fun snark:

Dear Daniel ,

Last week, Sarah Palin came to Orlando to help defeat me. Palin gave a speech in which she said that the Republicans needed "take me out." Like she was shooting a moose from a helicopter. This week, you and I got 75 cosponsors for our Medicare You Can Buy Into Act. 75 co-sponsors, in six days.

We did this together, with People Power. I was talking to members on the floor of the House, and you were sending e-mails and phone calls. My colleagues told me about all the creative ways that you reached them. Many of you forwarded to me the messages you sent.

THAT is what a movement looks like. THAT is the America we believe in, where we help each other, where we do good things for the benefit of all. It is an America that Palin would never understand, despite her formidable powers of comprehension.

And here is something else that we've done together. We've put together a campaign to beat back Sarah Palin. A campaign not funded by favor-seeking rich people and corporations, but by people like you. Last quarter, you helped me raise $500,000 dollars in one day, an average of $50 at a time. This blew away fundraising for every other House campaign, including people that took money from insurance companies, Wall Street, and defense contractors.

And you sent a message that was heard loud and clear. We like leaders with guts. And now, despite all the right-wing stalling and kvetching, we are going to get things done.

Let's send that message again. On March 27, we're going to drop another moneybomb on the special interests. I need you to make a pledge to give to my campaign on that date, at http://www.congressmanwithguts.com.

On March 27, your pledge of $25, $50, $100, more more will join with the pledges of thousands of other people. And we will speak again, loud and clear.

Progressive politics means having a head, and a heart. We've stood together before. And that's made a big difference. So please, stand with me again.

And what was my response to the Queen of the Quitters? I said that I looked forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them.

Courage,
Alan Grayson

If you do not wish to receive further email from Congressman Grayson, please elick here to unsubscribe.

Paid for and Authorized by the Committee to Elect Alan Grayson

I kinda like this guy. He's got a sense of humor and something much rarer in the Democratic Party: A freakin' spine!

-DP

Potatoheads!

2010-03-18T10:21:00.001-05:00

Yeah... I don't have much hope for Texas (R-etarded). They seem to want an intellectually inferior curriculum where anyone smart enough to escape Texas will be too rock stupid to function as anything other than Chief Gum-Scraper at Six Flags.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Don't Mess With Textbooks

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Reform

Really, really, really silly. But, the fact that George Bush flunky McLeroy is out is potentially a huge step forward for America's most backward state.

-DP

Oh look!

2010-03-17T21:51:00.000-05:00

If you go to the comment section in this blog, you'll notice something new, and new is always exciting.

After Emily slapped it on her blog, I decided to give the Disqus system a whirl for this little Blogger blog, and so far, it really does offer an incredible heap of moderation controls over the comments. For example, there's an edit feature where I can ~~fiddle with the things people say to make their words conform to my petty whims~~ remove unwanted spammer links hidden in on-topic content and various commenting glitches and whatnot.

There's also a ban-feature that I had a blast testing out by blacklisting Emily (someone's getting flowers). It blocks names, emails and IPs, so it's pretty in-depth, and I hope I won't have to use it much. One of the perks of letting this blog lay fallow for the better part of a year is that most of the trolls have trundled off to sling their intellectual manure over greener pastures. But, the idea that it's there is a huge comfort to me.

Perhaps the best feature, however, would have to be the nested comments and the ability to reply directly beneath the original comment. In terms of organization, it's a real handy thing. Plus, you can also choose how you would like to have the comments laid out. You have several options of having them displayed according to what's popular, what's newest and what's oldest.

Now, installing the thing was ridiculously easy. Just download your template, upload it to them, copy and paste the new template in, and voila. The only problem comes with importing your existing comments into the new layout. It's a horribly kludgy process with little notice as to the status of the import. For what it's worth, my blog took about 20-25 minutes of that upload, and comments started showing up a short time later. But, I had a lot of problems with errors, various confirmation pop-ups struggling to load, and general dodgy internet weirdness.

Eventually, it worked, and I have to say that, so far, I'm pretty happy with the end result. I don't know if any of you would like to install this system or not, but, for the most part, it's a pretty painless install, and if you've got troll problems, this might give you that iron fist you need to keep them from disrupting things too much.

Anyway, I hope you like it.

-DP

Snippet #1

2010-03-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Midway through the Sunday brunch service at the El Mer restaurant, Alain Duvanier rose from his table and smiled at his wife and daughter. He thanked them for their company on what he called a "fine, fine day." Then, with no hesitation, Alain picked up the butter knife that sat beside his plate and plunged it deeply into his left eye followed by his right. Finally, as he collapsed limply to the floor, the room erupted with the shrieks of diners and the restaurant emptied its chaos onto a New York City sidewalk bathed in the cool, midday sun of spring.

"It's warm enough to skip the jacket today," I said to the bartender as he hung up the phone with a quick and panicked request for help. "In fact, I'd say it's got to be at least seventy out there."
"Excuse me?" he said. "Okay. Did you see what just happened? He's fucking dead. He just... He... Fuck!"
"Oh, yeah." I said. "About that? I think that was my fault."
"Huh?"
"Can I get another, please?" I said pointing to my nearly empty glass.

The sirens began in the distance as the excited patrons gathered themselves outside in a line along the dining room's windows. Many peered inside upon the grizzly scene of Duvanier splayed out awkwardly on the floor, his eyeless face still smiling toward them. All were talking, holding their loved ones, and trying to make sense of what they witnessed. Most were shocked, some were weeping, and still others managed to laugh at the absurdity of a man driving a butter knife into his skull during, of all things, a Sunday brunch. Their nervous giggles suggested that perhaps dinner service, with its prime rib and strong drinks, would be a better time for such self-annihilating madness, and that killing yourself before lunch was just bad form.

"I understand you saw the whole thing," I heard as I finished the last of my drink. "Care to tell me what happened?"
"I saw some of what happened," I said as I turned to see an officer named Dentry. "The ones who actually saw what happened were sitting at the table with him."
"We're talking to them," Dentry said.
"Oh," I said. "And the dead guy? That dead guy probably saw what happened a hell of a lot better than everyone."
"What?"
"Well, he probably saw it right up until the point where he gouged out his eyes with a butter knife."

DP...

Bonus Wordless O'Wednesday!

2010-03-17T08:37:00.003-05:00

[Via]

Wordless O'Wednesday.

2010-03-17T08:33:00.000-05:00

Comin' Through...

2010-03-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

I've learned to never get between my cat and his nice, dry house.

I like this shot. I don't have many really great action shots of Harding, and this one just makes me giggle. If you look closely, you can see that he's trying very hard to stay out of the slushy, wet snow.

-DP

Musical Mondeeee... Feelin' Irish.

2010-03-15T08:00:00.003-05:00

Here... Have some Corrs.

I've tried so hard to hate this version. It's a freakin' great song as it was originally put together, and I want so badly to see this as some sort of violation of all that I love and hold dear. I just can't though. This is just wonderful.

-DP

Snippy Snippeting.

2010-03-13T09:15:00.001-06:00

For some time now, on her blog, Emily's been chiseling out brilliantly written pieces of fiction which she has taken to calling "Snippets." Unfortunately, in the interest of pest control, I can't link to her blog or any of the vignettes here (I may be able to coax her into letting me post them, but at the moment, that's neither here nor there). But, I think you can grok what the whole thing is about.

Anyway, I've been knocking around the idea of doing something similar here. It seems like fun, and I certainly am not hurting for ideas for the beginnings or middles or ends of stories. There are heaps of scant ideas flying around like bats inside the belfry of my dusty imagination, and grabbing one, chucking it onto a page and just letting it be is right up my alley.

Nonetheless, I'm slapping this disclaimer up here simply because I didn't want folks to show up and be confused by suddenly seeing some of the potentially weirdest and wildest shit my mind can imagine and not know what to think. Trust me. Some things might turn out to be pretty surprising.

Plus, I also think posting this will motivate my slacker ass to actually start posting more and more things upon this blog. We'll see.

-DP

What a Disgusting Little Man.

2010-03-10T13:33:00.000-06:00

You know your entire thesis is fucked from the get go when Jon Stewart sits back and lets you hang yourself by a rope of your own contradictions:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Exclusive - Marc Thiessen Extended Interview Pt. 1

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Reform

Part 2; Part 3.

I think Liz Cheney, Bill Kristol, Rush Limbaugh, and this colossal douche Marc Thiessen should pack up their collection of irrational lies and their cowardly torturer's glee and move to a more sadistic nation that doesn't claim to be any sort of home of the brave. America will only ever be worth as much as our humanity allows, and tossing that humanity into the toilet in pursuit of some bullshit sense of security only shows the world that we are nothing more than a collection of brutal, gutless imbeciles possessing no genuine strength or intellect. For these worthless bullies to denounce American jurisprudence for such a meaningless thing as a perception of safety through violence should be viewed as treason.

We are a nation of laws, and what makes this nation of laws great is not our collective brutality and penchant for inhuman violence. It's our ability to be fair and better than people like the gutter-licking Cheney family wishes us to be.

Now, personally, I think idiots like Cheney, Thiessen, et al are the real terrorists in this country. Real bombs scare, yes. Real exploding bombs do damage. But, the imagination of a bomb --the idea of its theoretical existence that these ignorant and evil motherfuckers keep throwing at the bed-wetting imbeciles in America-- is where terrorism finds its most effective and lasting roots. Our society has become crippled by our collective stupidity and tremulous imagination.

America is a nation of gutless cowards on a witch hunt (humanity be damned), and it doesn't have to be. However, so long as we respect these fear-spewing terrorists like Cheney and others, America will crumble beneath the weight of the irrational fears they seek to bury us beneath.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday.

2010-03-10T06:48:00.000-06:00

hehehe...

Music... Monday...

2010-03-08T17:01:00.000-06:00

This is one of those songs I have always loved playing.

Until I heard this version many moons ago, I always played it on one of my electric guitars. I honestly never thought of doing it acoustically. Since then, however, when I hear a song --any song-- a thought usually trips through my sludgy brains wondering whether or not it can be done on an acoustic.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday.

2010-03-03T07:52:00.000-06:00

-DP

Music Monday! "Keep on Walking."

2010-03-01T08:50:00.000-06:00

Today, it's that Spanic Dad, that Spanic Son and that Spanic Spat!

Really stunned to find this on the Yooble-Toobles. I've always liked this band from my little city on the lake. But, I'm afraid to toss my brains back to the late-80's and early-90's to relive some of those memories of seeing them play live at some of Milwaukee's less reputable drinking locations. It's a bit like an old Chaplin film, looking back on those days. Things are hazy, frantic and everyone had a horrible moustache.

-DP

An Amazing Game.

2010-02-28T19:18:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, I watched the Olympic Gold-Medal game between the United States and Canada. It was, without a doubt, the best game of hockey I've ever seen. Both teams played a clean game, there was no luck involved to make people wince, and, in the end, it just came down to pure talent and skill.

Unfortunately, America lost.

They didn't lose by much, however, and though my countrymen and women may be surly and hanging their heads, it would serve them well to stop and consider that Team USA lost by just one point in sudden-death overtime to not only the best team on the planet on their home ice, but the team from the country that pretty much invented the game of hockey as we know it.

Considering that, I don't think it's really all that possible to be angry. If anything, we should look at this as something of an upset by America, and we should take this new-fueled rivalry into the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russia and get ready for another heard-pounding, adrenalin-rush on ice.

I was surprised Team USA did as well as they did in hockey. I think a lot of people were. And they played this gold medal game brilliantly. We should be proud in our silver-medal team, we should tip our hats to the better team, and we should celebrate right along with them and every other country in these games. After all, sometimes it's a good idea to let the world be small for a little while.

Congratulations, Canada, and to all the athletes of these Winter Games, thank you for the sharing the passion and thrill of your talents with the rest of the world.

-DP

Crazy Waves.

2010-02-27T10:21:00.000-06:00

We are small things on this planet.

By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile last night, the subsequent aftershocks, and the potentially worse situation of a tsunami racing across the Pacific Ocean. Here's an energy model from NOAA:

I know it doesn't seem like much, but a fifty or sixty centimeter difference from level ocean is a pretty significant event. It takes a lot of energy to move water. It's a heavy thing. Anyone who's been in a bathtub or swimming pool can easily tell you that once it gets moving, water is not easy to stop.

These waves are moving, and it's hard to get a handle on (and there's probably a good chance that I'm totally borking the science here because I'm dumb), but as far as I can tell, if you look at it in terms of an air-travel analogy, you can see this energy is moving at a pretty good speed (look up the western coast of the US to get a slightly better handle on the speed).

Anyway, here's the National Data Buoy site. It'll be interesting to see what happens with this thing.

-DP

Excuse Me; But I Think the Piano Has Been Drinking, Sir...

2010-02-26T13:48:00.000-06:00

I found a video of one of my favorite Tom Waits songs, and I'd be all sorts of wrong if I didn't post it here.

I have an arcane and tangled history with the music of Tom Waits. Whenever I played guitar, I would find myself winding through a wild maze of elegant scales and progressions with gritted teeth and sweat-soaked brow. It was maddening, but that's what an instrument is. It's a beautiful frustration.

However, every once in a while, I would toss on something of Tom Waits', sit back, thumb out some notes and just enjoy the wild ride of this man's songs. He's a bit of an anti-talent, I think. And, I don't mean that disparagingly. The guy is, without a doubt, one of the most talented artists around. But, he roams and breaks things that people foolishly call "rules," and sometimes I think he has a bit of fun in a contemporary Bohemian sort of way. He's brilliant without sounding brilliant. It's at that point that you have to stop and think about what it is to be a musician.

For example, if you throw me a guitar, I can write a song. But, if you throw Tom Waits a rock and a galvanized garbage can lid, he will write a song, and it will probably be a damn good one.

Yup. Some days, I think I'd really just love to take Tom Waits to a landfill and see what the hell happens.
-DP

For the Record...

2010-02-25T16:00:00.000-06:00

Whenever I see a hit on this blog from Cardiff, UK, it always makes me smile for some reason.

Does that make me weird?

Hello, Rabbit Hole!

2010-02-25T09:53:00.000-06:00

Love this:

"I mean, I don't know what her deal is, but my belief is in 2010 and 2012, public leaders need to have intellectual curiosity."[Jeb Bush said.]

Hmmm...

-DP

Pro-Life? Really?!?

2010-02-25T00:20:00.001-06:00

Wow...

Nicaraguan authorities have withheld life-saving treatment from a pregnant cancer patient because it could harm the foetus and violate a total ban on abortion.

A state-run hospital has monitored the cancer spreading in the body of the 27-year-old named only as Amalia since her admission on February 12 but has not offered chemotherapy, radiotherapy or a therapeutic abortion, citing the law.
(Full Story)

This is one of those gut-wrenchingly sad stories of religious fascism run amok. This is a case that every anti-choice person should read before lacing up their boots to march upon the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic for a day of irrational shrieking. It's what they call for, and their demands are ridiculous and inhumane and, hopefully, unattainable in a nation that hopes to brand itself civilized.

-DP

Life is a Snow Globe.

2010-02-24T17:08:00.000-06:00

Who shook the planet?

A short time ago, I let Harding out the front door to romp around the world beneath a partly-cloudy, blue-speckled sky. He lept out the door in his usual happy way and trotted to the steps to survey his domain.

I didn't hang out there with him. It's still winter, a smudge chilly, and I had things to do. So, I went into the kitchen, grabbed up a couple of garbage bags to run out to the cans, and when I opened the door, a full-blown, lake-effect blizzard sucker-punched me square in the face.

Clearly, life along the shores of Lake Michigan is not without its charms, I guess.

Nonetheless, when I came back from my trot across the tundra, Harding was sitting by the back door with a tidy pile of snow on his head and a look on his furry face as if to say Dude! Why the hell can't you just, you know, NOT DO THIS TO ME?

Anyway, it's just lake-effect snow, so it may stop as suddenly as it started, or, it may not stop until June and we're all buried beneath a freakin' glacier.

-DP

Wordless Wednesday.

2010-02-24T00:00:00.000-06:00

Fundies Saying the Darnedest Things...

2010-02-23T15:08:00.000-06:00

I found this comment on the Fundies Say the Darnedest Things site, and since I'm a little bored, I figured I'd take some swipes at it.

First, they start with the ubiquitous misunderstanding:

You people do realize that according to the law of God...

Whenever someone unleashes that appeal to an irrelevant authority, I have to stop and remind them that in this free and wonderful land, no one has to give a rat's ass what God says or doesn't say. Really. It's no different from me saying, "Well, you know, according to Santa Claus..." If you choose to follow god, that's fine, but do keep in mind that it only impacts your life and you do not get to tell others how to live.

No one in America is obligated or required to give God or the Bible any more thought or relevance in their lives than they see fit.

However, this Robin69 person doesn't stop there. Oh no. The crazy hate just spews full-bore from her like an uncorked fireplug of foamy stupid:

You people do realize that according to the law of God homosexuals should be put to death, so I think we are being very tolerant by allowing them to live.

To paraphrase the words of the unflappable Inigo Montoya: Tolerance? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

In other words, tolerance is not simply following the law, and insofar as your petty god and you may be overly obsessed with what people do in their bedrooms, real existing entities have deemed it necessary to create laws so as to protect innocent people from evil, knuckle-dragging primates like you who wish to kill, kill, kill those things their minds are too tattered to comprehend.

You people are supposed to be the moral ones, ya know?

Oh, but there's more...

This said according to the word of God homsexuals [sic] are equal to murder and therefor [sic] have no civil right.

Awww... Lookit you trying to show off your vast wisdom of basic civil rights and contemporary jurisprudence. In terms of insane, it's right up there with your utter lack of compassion and knowledge with regards to you and your god condoning rape, murder of men, murder of women, murder of children, slavery, hatred of shellfish and the burning of pets and people among a litany of other, even sillier, things. So, excuse me, but for you to even mention civil rights is a blazing hypocrisy.

Seriously. If we listened to your god, I'd be well within my rights to shoot you in the face for wearing pants.

And, finally, to finish off this little nibble of nutty squirrel turds from Robin69:

Seperation [sic] of Church and state is meant to keep the state out of church buisness and to ensure the Churches free reign, not the state free reign. I beleive many have it backwards.

Backwards?

Not so much.

There's a reason why the Taliban made it to power in Afghanistan and subsequently turned that entire nation into the bloodthirsty, theocratic nightmare that it is today. There's also a reason why the Inquisition is not viewed upon as a sunny thing.

I'll let you figure it out. I think your god would appreciate it more if you used your brain rather than let someone like me beat the ever-living snot out of you with a cold, dead fish.

-DP

I Stand Applauding... Objectively... Happily!

2010-02-23T11:10:00.002-06:00

This is pretty freakin' brilliant, and you have no idea how desperately I wish people could return to a time when critical thinking and a devotion to fact were the engines of debate and reason.

Leonard Pitts Jr. / Syndicated columnist
Don't confuse them with facts
To listen to talk radio, to watch TV pundits, to read a newspaper's online message board, is to realize that increasingly, we are a people estranged from critical thinking, divorced from logic, alienated from even objective truth.

Syndicated columnist
I got an e-mail the other day that depressed me.

It concerned a piece I recently did that mentioned Henry Johnson, who was awarded the French Croix de Guerre in World War I for single-handedly fighting off a company of Germans (some accounts say there were 14, some say almost 30, the ones I find most authoritative say there were about two dozen) who threatened to overrun his post.

Johnson managed this despite the fact that he was only 5-foot-4 and 130 pounds, despite the fact that his gun had jammed, despite the fact that he was wounded 21 times.

My mention of Johnson's heroics drew a rebuke from a fellow named Ken Thompson, which I quote verbatim and in its entirety:

"Hate to tell you that blacks were not allowed into combat intell (sic) 1947, that fact. World War II ended in 1945. So all that feel good, one black man killing two dozen Nazi, is just that, PC bull."

In response, my assistant, Judi Smith, sent Mr. Thompson proof of Johnson's heroics: a link to his page on the Web site of Arlington National Cemetery. She thought this settled the matter.

Thompson's reply? "There is no race on headstones and they didn't come up with the story in tell (sic) 2002."

Judi: "I guess you can choose to believe Arlington National Cemetery or not."

Thompson: "It is what it is, you don't believe either ... "

At this point, Judi forwarded me their correspondence, along with a despairing note. She is probably somewhere drinking right now.

You see, like me, she can remember a time when facts settled arguments. This is back before everything became a partisan shouting match, back before it was permissible to ignore or deride as "biased" anything that didn't support your worldview.

If you and I had an argument and I produced facts from an authoritative source to back me up, you couldn't just blow that off. You might try to undermine my facts, might counter with facts of your own, but you couldn't just pretend my facts had no weight or meaning.

But that's the intellectual state of the union these days, as evidenced by all the people who still don't believe the president was born in Hawaii or that the planet is warming. And by Mr. Thompson, who doesn't believe Henry Johnson did what he did.

I could send him more proof, I suppose. Johnson is lauded in history books ("Before the Mayflower" by Lerone Bennett Jr., "The Dictionary of American Negro Biography" by Rayford Logan and Michael Winston) and in contemporaneous accounts (The Saturday Evening Post, The New York Times). I could also point out that blacks have fought in every war in American history, though before Harry Truman desegregated the military in 1948, they did so in Jim Crow units. Also, there were no Nazis in World War I.

But those are "facts," and the whole point here is that facts no longer mean what they once did. I suppose I could also ignore him. But you see, Ken Thompson is not just some isolated eccentric. No, he is the Zeitgeist personified.

To listen to talk radio, to watch TV pundits, to read a newspaper's online message board, is to realize that increasingly, we are a people estranged from critical thinking, divorced from logic, alienated from even objective truth. We admit no ideas that do not confirm us, hear no voices that do not echo us, sift out all information that does not validate what we wish to believe.

I submit that any people thus handicapped sow the seeds of their own decline; they respond to the world as they wish it were rather to the world as it is. That's the story of the Iraq war.

But objective reality does not change because you refuse to accept it. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge a wall does not change the fact that it's a wall.
And you shouldn't have to hit it to find that out.

Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts Jr.'s column appears regularly on editorial pages of The Times.

The facts are important. Unfortunately, today, the arrogant notion that one can not be wrong is constantly reinforced by sources that have a profitable commercial obligation to abandon that truth and make you believe that you are right in the face of whatever cold, hard facts confront you. And, they do it to sell you things. However, when those facts are gleaming with truth and easily verified in the face of whatever madness and misinformation you possess and cherish, neglecting that truth is no different from demanding that water, in spite of all evidence thrown at you, is dry.

There's a reason why outfits like Fox News and babbling heads like Rush Limbaugh are popular. People just don't want to think, and a daily affirmation of their ignorance will give them the pat on the head they need. Rather than learn anything, they want to be told they're smart, and they want their hands to be held as they are lead through life never stopping to think for themselves. They want to complain about Obama, for instance, but they refuse to stop and learn the foundations of those complaints. The reason why they think Obama is Hitler is because someone told them that Obama is Hitler. And, rather than crack a book to investigate the truth, they wish to throw that truth into the trash and simply create their own version based not on a verifiable, well-documented history of both Obama and Hitler but on their own petty emotions that have been stoked by someone with something to personally gain.

If you stop and ask them how Obama makes them feel, you'll get a ton of readily, and largely ignorant, answers. However, if you stop and ask them why Obama makes them feel, you'll get a collection of irrational gibberish of cited sources whose obligations are more commercial than educational. You'll get a mountain of "Fox News says...," or "Rush says...," or, "Our Tea Party leader says..." You won't get "Transcripts from the Neurenberg Trials, History texts, a 1936 issue of Life or National Geographic say...."

So, how does anyone deal with such intellectually dishonest people?

I have no idea. You can lead an idiot to school, but you can't make him think, after all.

If there is one proverbial "smart bomb" in this current trend of blinkered Americana, it's that people who have allowed others to do their thinking and learning for them, really, really, dislike being made aware of it and mocked for it. For example, remember when Stephen Colbert spoke at the Bush White House Correspondents' Dinner?

The collective outrage coming from Republicans after that mocking was amazing and telling. Someone elevated Colbert to the position of that of a serious and hawkish conservative without taking a moment to stop and look into Colbert's act. So, when he said, "I stand by [President Bush]. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound—with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world," he exposed not only Bush's failures as a leader, but in that simple little utterance of truth, he ripped the pants down on those who have allowed others to think for them, and it infuriated them all.

Unfortunately, that bully mindset is a tough thing to confront. To them, it is better to be strong than smart without ever realizing that it's perfectly fine to be both. There is always a reaction not of thought but of stark, unchecked emotion. There is a "know your fucking place or I will kick your ass" mentality that strives for the perception of authority without actually ever earning that authority.

Nonetheless, in terms of the sources of their authority, I might be willing to get a cake recipe from Rush Limbaugh since he seems to be an authority on that. And, maybe, women can get makeup tips from the vapid heads at Fox News since they seem to care more about being shiny than being honest. But, to see them as a source of valid information of any sort is like repeatedly throwing yourself down flights of Stupid Stairs until you sit gape-mouthed and blubbering on the landing because you've allowed your brains to soften and atrophy to the point of not being able to tie your own shoes.

As for the so-called "Liberal Media," it's different in that it's based on facts and information and a legitimate history which can be addressed and debated with other facts and information. You can't debate emotion. The Bush-Kerry debates proved that. Scare the people, and they will grovel before you and follow you to their destruction. Try to educate them, and they will call you an elitist and work against you.

Finally, it's an insult to see the bullshit rattling around America today. Militias and groups that were once marginalized in the '90's have now found a voice in the mainstream (and they still call themselves patriots). Listening to the ignorant and unthinking will only drag us down. They need to be dismissed as wrong because they are. If they can not build an argument in reality, they're not worth listening to. If they refuse to learn from history, giving their arguments any weight condemns us all to a future of repeating that history.

-DP

Musical Monday... Jingo Edition!

2010-02-22T11:49:00.001-06:00

This makes me want to take a freakin' flamethrower to the snow outside...

Boom-chaka-lacka-boom!

-DP

Google Sounds Like a Piano Lesson.

2010-02-19T08:02:00.000-06:00

Have you fiddled with CodeOrgan yet?

It's a website that translates the code of other websites into various musical elements. Mine is a chaotic freakin' mess.

Give it a whirl with your own blogs and favorite websites.

-DP

Who Do They Love?

2010-02-18T08:32:00.001-06:00

Now, not to belittle the suffering of those who've been victims of these odious and insufferable homophobes, but the following quote from this story just bored itself into the "WTF?" section of my brain:

"The major argument homosexuals have is that what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms is nobody's business, but do you know what they do in their bedrooms?" pastor Martin Ssempa asked the crowd.

Wait for it...

Pastor Ssempa then displayed a slide show of gay pornographic pictures.

These irrational bigots in Uganda are seeking to pass a law that criminalizes homosexuality to the point of imprisonment and execution. They are also desperately trying to silence any and all discourse on homosexuality in the hopes of somehow, magically, making it go away, and here they are not only discussing homosexuality, but they are also enjoying a gay porn show in their own church pews. The hypocrisy of Ssempa's statement is so comical and so blatant, it actually winds up validating the arguments against this wicked and inhumane piece of legislation.

If there is a silver lining of any sort in this bizarre and insane story, I suppose it would be the notion that when it comes to their enemies, Christians (and many other faiths) lean very heavily on ignorance and mystery and misinformation when it comes to fueling their fears and hatreds of those groups they need to devalue so as to elevate themselves and the supposed worth of their faith. By sitting them in a room and showing them gay porn, we should at least hope that a sliver of honest information on harmless sex between two consenting adults is replacing the moldering, dishonest, fear-caked sludge that's battered the inner cogs of their unthinking brains.

Of course, I also want to know whether or not the gay porn came from the pastor's personal collection or if his flock provided him with the slide show. And, was there popcorn served?

-DP

The Inaugural Wordlessness Wednesday.

2010-02-17T13:33:00.000-06:00

~~Here is my very first Wordless Wednesday post. I figured I'd hop on the bandwagon since, like smack, all the cool kids are doing it, and they seem to be having fun and stuff.~~

~~See? Isn't that awesome? Those are cookies. They're awesomely yummy and delicious cookies. I think this picture is easily worth a thousand "yums!"~~

~~-DP~~

Wheee...

2010-02-16T08:01:00.000-06:00

I'm driving around the Midwest today with its blowing snow and, I'm sure, icy roadways as I head back to Milwaukee from the budding, little hamlet of Indianapolis. It's such a lovely town with its fine chocolates, delicate pastries and mountaintop yodelers.

Anywho, before I scamper and blaze a trail out of here, I thought I'd slap up a picture taken this past Valentine's Day:

So, how was your Valentine's Day? Did anyone do anything tremendous, outrageous or insane for you or to you or around you?

-DP

An Inconvenient Truthiness.

2010-02-11T17:25:00.000-06:00

This handy graphic (and I do love me some graphics) clearly demonstrates the lie that is global climate change.

As you can see, not only has the City of New York not gotten warmer from August to February, if anything, it's actually gotten colder.

-DP
(Thank you, Daily Show)

Six Seconds.

2010-02-11T16:04:00.000-06:00

Yowza!

This plug-stupid, uneducated, Texas navel-gazer, Rep. Joe Barton (R-etarded), is actually asking a Nobel-winning Physicist to give him a six-second seminar on plate-tectonics, Geology, Biology and "Whar tha earl comin' from." And, something funnier? This dumb bastard of a Congressman seems to have gotten it into his hayseed head that he "stumped" Steve Chu.

The anti-intellectualism being gleefully paraded around as such a virtue by Rep. Barton and many other Republican members of our House and Senate is astounding and crippling. It's also mind-shreddingly terrifying and frustrating. Stupidity and ignorance do not make us strong, safe or even remotely successful Congressman. Yes. It may make your panties drippy to think you "stumped" someone so clearly your superior in terms of intelligence and ability to process abstract ideas, and it may even score you a few points in your little clique of incurious right-wing window-lickers. However, the truth is, most people with the ability to question tend to actually listen and learn rather than whip out the wet-noodle of their own limp intellect in some foolishly misguided, ego-stroking display.

What an embarrassment it is for Steve Chu to have this witless, dusty-brained, Gomer in the same room as him. What's next, Congressman? Throwing money at astronomers so they can tell you your future?

-DP

How's that Racist-y Tea-Baggy Maverick-y Thing Workin' out for Ya?

2010-02-09T16:37:00.004-06:00

Sadly, the dumb, witless, window-lickers are just too stupid to realize how they've been completely duped by this egomaniacal arctic yokel.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

AmeriGasm

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

-DP

Talk to the Hand!

2010-02-08T14:52:00.003-06:00

So... What's on Palin's agenda for today? Let's check, shall we?

-DP

P.S. Link to Murtha story. He was not a good Congressman, but he was a good and dedicated and well decorated soldier and I respect that.

Musical Monday?

2010-02-08T13:17:00.002-06:00

I liked this performance from The Who better than last night's halftime gig:

By the way, I can't be the only one who noticed that it took Roger Daltrey a while to find that voice that made him one of the best front men in rock. It was nice to see them play the Super Bowl, but it was also a little sad. I think it'd been better if they just played two or three complete tunes instead of the odd, disjointed medley they rumbled out.

Jesus is Our Palm Pilot.

2010-02-08T13:01:00.001-06:00

I'm hoping this will be the last time I feel the urge to write about that freakin' melon-head Sarah Palin. She really isn't worth the typing, and I think America should simply be breathing a huge sigh of relief that she's been kept as far away from the presidency as possible. However, something she said in her palm-piloted babblefest Saturday about lifting America's spirits really just pisses me off:

Allowing America's spirit to rise again, by... not being afraid to go back to some of our roots as a God fearing nation, where we are not afraid to say, especially in times of trouble, we don't have all the answers as falible men and women, so it would be wise for us to start seeking some divine intervention again in this country, so that we can be safe and secure and prosperous again.

    No. It would be wise to actually learn how to solve the problem and find real ways to become safe, secure and prosperous. What Sarah is advocating is nothing more than ineffective intellectual laziness and false, unattainable hope. In other words, close your eyes real tight and pretend the problem just magically goes away on a breeze.

   Man is fallible. However, man is also capable of learning. Sarah can pray that her teeth won't rot from her head, but a toothbrush and a dental exam would probably do a better job. Our species is incredible at finding actual working solutions to whatever problems may befall us. Ignoring that investigation into a solution while falling to your knees and begging greedy favors from a god is not going to provide a damn thing for America other than make you feel like you're doing something while really doing nothing.

   Prayer is lazy. It's the easiest and most ineffective way of confronting a problem, and it is the height of human arrogance to believe that some super-powerful cosmic deity holds you in such special regard that it would even listen to your whimperings in the first place. Use your brains to think about a solution so as to not waste your time talking to imaginary friends.

   When someone thinks that prayer is not only going to help America, but that it's also the only way to help, people are right to mock or ridicule or condemn them for their uselessness. If Sarah Palin wishes to brand herself as some sort of political leader, she's going to need a lot more than prayer and wild scribblings on her hand. If she insists on refusing to be intelligent, knowledgeable and thoughtful, she will need people with brains who are politically incorrect enough to tell her that her solutions to America's problems are brain-smashingly dangerous and stupid. Unfortunately, to Sarah Palin, any real advice that promises real results is seen as an oppression of her politically irrelevant religious beliefs.

To have people involved in Government who aren't afraid to go that route, who aren't afraid about the political correctness, that you know, they have to be afraid about what the media would say if they were to proclaim their reliance on our creator.

    Define creator. Define your creation myth. Hold them up to be scrutinized so as to demonstrate that it is the most effectual way of handling the myriad of problems we as a nation face both at home as well as abroad. Show me that your god exists, communicates with you, and is actually willing to act according to your petty, personal desires.

   Go ahead. I'll wait.

   If you rely upon a figment for answers, then you probably shouldn't be surprised that no answers will ever actually be found. To demand that the media and entire American population respect your imaginary friend as a viable, tangible answer is arrogant beyond comprehension, and it deserves to be mocked as harshly as humanly possible.

   This political correctness whine from these "poor, oppressed" idiots is one of the biggest hypocrisies of the Right. The First Amendment protects this idiot's speech, it protects her twisted beliefs in witches, ghosts and demons, and, most importantly, it protects all of US from the persecution her beliefs seek to instill into American law.

   What Palin and her ilk are really yapping about here is not about being able to say what they want to say (which, again, they have every right to do), but it's about being criticized for their ridiculous statements. For example, Palin claims to hate political correctness, but she squawks like a bleeding goat when certain people use the word "retard" in private or public conversation (while allowing those who may potentially further her bizarre agenda skate by with no criticism whatsoever). People like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck would love to be able to use the more vile euphemisms while talking about our President but can't because they will be rightly criticized and condemned for the bigots they truly are. Their twisted definition of "political correctness" is not about respect or trying not to offend; it's about being able to offend with no repercussions whatsoever. And, the funniest thing that these dumb fucking meat sacks don't get is that they are perfectly free to say whatever the bloody fucking hell they want. But, they're too spineless and gutless to actually face the criticisms for their worthless, bile-soaked babblings, and since they can't wear robes to encourage anonymity, they have no choice but to bleat and whine and whimper out these confusedm misguided gripes. However, in America, you dumb fucking bastards, you are perfectly free to be as big an idiot as you possibly can, but those around you are also perfectly free to point at you and laugh and tell you about it.

    Honestly, though, to demand an end to political correctness in one breath while also demanding that your religious beliefs be given worth and respected beyond criticism is so head-spinningly hypocritical, it's beyond crazy.

-DP

The Circle City Meets the Crescent City.

2010-02-07T15:34:00.001-06:00

    I admit. I think I've always been a fan of the Super Bowl. Even when there are two teams playing that I couldn't care less about, there's always something alluring about those great, big sports spectaculars that pull me in.

    Anyway, this year it's the Indianapolis Colts mixing it up with the New Orleans Saints.

    These are actually two teams I do care about. Granted, they're not my beloved Green Bay Packers --the Greatest Team in the History of American Football-- but, for me, there are emotional connections to both teams in tonight's showdown.

    On the one hand, the Colts are from Indianapolis, and for the last year, I've spent about as much time there as I have here in Milwaukee. It's a city that really has grown on me to the point that I just miss being there when I am not. I don't really know much about the people of Indianapolis, bit the one person I do know there is the absolute best person anyone could ever hope to know. And, as it turns out, when she's not confused and being a Bears' fan, she roots for her local team with all the mad ferocity of someone who's got their entire paycheck riding on the outcome.

    On the other hand, there's the Saints. I love New Orleans, and it's a city that deserves so much, but, lately, has received so little. Even in the worst of times, it's a city that will throw a party at the drop of a hat. I'm pretty sure all anyone needs to do is stand in the middle of Bourbon Street with a megaphone and simply shout "Hi! I'm new here. Where's the party," and a free-roaming Second Line will come along to sweep them up and whisk them off to the land where millions of brain cells go to die happy.

    As for the game, I'm going to say that The Saints are going to win, but I am pulling for the Colts. I know. The Saints are the underdogs, but in my tiny football-following brains, they just seem to stack up better than the Colts, and they're not as one-dimensional as the Colts. All they have to do is cover the middle of the field for sixty minutes. Plus, there is something about that team that, throughout this season and the playoffs, has always found a way to win. We saw it in the NFC Championship game against the Vikings. They managed to hang in there against what was arguably the best defense and one of the most potent offenses anyone has ever seen (granted, Favre also contributed a whole hell of a lot to the Saints' win, but that's football). Moreover, in terms of hunger, the Saints want this win almost as bad as fat, little me wants a beignet from the Café du Monde.

    Still... I hope the Colts win. I just don't see it happening.

-DP

P.S. Sorry, honey! Luuuuuurve yoooz!

So, Like, Wanna go to the Prom?

2010-02-07T08:19:00.004-06:00

I think one of the things that always fascinates me about America's tea-bagging knuckle-draggers is their relentless and utterly vapid assault upon President Obama for his use of a teleprompter. However, I suppose if you stop and look at the weird protest signs and banners these people wave around, it's pretty easy to see how they could be intimidated by the written word. Literacy is Communism.

Here, Sarah "if you vote Republican, you get to use the word retard" Palin literally blows that whole teleprompter whine right out of the sky.

I like it. She is asked to explain her top three priorities and can't make it beyond number two without having to look at the Sharpie marks on her paw. And, she tries to be sneaky about it doncha know, but I'm pretty sure every high school teacher who watched this babblefest cringed when they saw this.

Sarah? Read the gibberish when you brush the hair from your face! BRUSH... THE... HAIR! Simply holding your hand in your lap palm up is no way to cheat on a test.

It's too bad that the tea-baggers are so against using notes. I mean, one 3x5 card could have gone a long way in keeping this idiot from looking like a desperate high-school student.

UPDATE: The scribblings on Palin's mitt have been deciphered.

It reads:

Energy
~~Budget~~ cut
Tax
Lift American
Spirits

Seriously. That's it. She couldn't remember those three little things. It was a completely preplanned question, and she couldn't fucking remember that simple answer?!?

This is a woman who many want to run for president. This is a woman who John McCain threw upon us to the ruination of our political process and the complete detriment of intellectual debate and conversation in this country.

This woman is a freakin' insult to all Americans.

This woman is Sarah Palin.

-DP

Hurrr... durr...

2010-02-03T11:54:00.004-06:00

I'm sure I'll be writing something on the whole Don't Ask, Don't Tell insanity in the future, but, until then, here's a snip from NPR with pearl-clutching representative Duncan Hunter (R-ZOMGTRANNYARMY!):

It's crazy the things some people fear, huh?

-DP

At Which Point He Says, "%$#& Winter!"

2010-01-30T16:16:00.001-06:00

Harding has been trying desperately to get a handle on this winter. Last winter, he kind of grew annoyed by the cold upon the Wisconsin tundra. However, he still tromped around in the snow, dove into drifts and chased flake after dizzying, maddening flake for hours on end.

This year, oddly enough, he's been more inclined to settle into a more domestic life of hibernation by remaining on the couch or in my bed, and when he does step outside, it's usually only for thirty minutes to an hour or so. After he's had enough of the chill, he finds his way to the sunny front porch to wait until his stupid human comes along to open the door and let him in.

He does have his fun though. Yesterday, he batted the crap out of a piece of ice for half an hour. He chased it across the frozen grass of the lawn, licked it once or twice, stalked it and sat on it much to his discomfort. Acacia, in the meantime, hissed at a bush.

-DP

"You Know, I'm Having Fun!"

2010-01-29T18:55:00.005-06:00

This video should be required viewing for every Democrat, liberal, independent, libertarian, conservative, Republican, or poor, blinkered tea-bagger who has ever claimed to care about the good of this nation, and who actually believes that this nation can succeed. In fact, every citizen should watch this.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

[Transcript can be found here]

This is the most brilliant I've seen this president in the year-plus that he's been in office. It's a bold move by him, but if this country is going to fight its way from the myriad of economic and social quagmires we find ourselves, it's going to take work and not soundbytes and childish, petulant talking points from Republican obstructionists.

The icing on the cake, of course, is that Fox "News" was cast into such a panic after President Obama so handily demolished this laundry-list of right-wing bullshit, they cut short their broadcast of the Q&A rather than have their unthinking, incurious viewers learn something about how to move this country in a better and more unified, bipartisan direction.

I wish this could sink in. I wish they would listen. I wish they would throw away their inflammatory and oftentimes incorrect rhetoric for words based within reality.

Watch and LEARN!

-DP

And, what a good job!

2010-01-29T07:42:00.001-06:00

I don't know why, but this latest xkcd comic just smashed me to bits and made me a smidge weepy.

http://xkcd.com/695/

    Click image to see the rest.

Burn, Maggie! BURN!

2010-01-23T10:09:00.002-06:00

I nicked this off BoingBoing.

I don't know why, but this whole thing just made me giggle. Yes. The women in the video are treated to the usual throwback gender-based condescension of 1960's America, but when these "delicate flowers" pick up freakin' blowtorches and have at the explosive element, shit gets pretty real, man.

Anyway, I love these old films sometimes.

-DP

One Dollar, One Vote.

2010-01-21T13:27:00.001-06:00

I wish Americans could somehow cease their destructively oblivious ways.

WASHINGTON — Sweeping aside a century-old understanding and overruling two important precedents, a bitterly divided Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that the government may not ban political spending by corporations in candidate elections.
(Full Story)

    Now, for those thinking that this is no great big deal, consider the amount of money insurance companies have to toss around in the purchase of politicians.

    What are the odds that any sort of health care reform could actually be achieved when that bruised-kneed politician is beholden to these entities?

    And, it's certainly not limited to health care reform. The next election will be bought by these corporations in order to further their own ends and interests and subsequently remove the voice and vote of the people. In other words, we are one step from a genuine plutocracy, and you've lost the one thing that made America unique.

    Good job, America. That whole "Of the people, by the people, and for the people," gibberish was just getting in the way anyway.

-DP

Vitamins...

2010-01-20T08:49:00.001-06:00

    Finding vitamin D anywhere in the state of Wisconsin in January is a tough prospect. In fact, last year, as the winter was winding down and we cheeseheads were heading into spring, I'd had some bloodwork done by one of my doctors, and she remarked that, like pretty much everyone else in this state at that time of year, I suffered from a slight vitamin D deficiency.

   Living along the lake shore with an ominous gray mass of winter worry piled high into the sky above the water makes for a rather sunless existence, for the most part. However, with the weather around here, it's hardly a constant, and some days the gray haze can burn off shortly after sunrise. And, on other days, it can hang over your head like a... well... Like a damned dark cloud.

   Anyway, last week, on the run up to my much anticipated visit by Emily, the weather here was most certainly Vitamin D-free. It was cloudy, it was cold, and it was horrible up until the moment she crossed the Illinois/Wisconsin border and called me. I can't remember exactly what it was that I was doing when she called. It's all kind of a big, happy blur of excitement. I kind of remember a bonfire on the beach with a very nervous looking goat and a lot of chanting about sun gods and what have you.

   Then again, maybe that was just some sort of odd dream. These days, it's always a little tricky keeping those fugue states sorted out. I should probably get a note pad or something. But, I digress...

   The second my phone rang and I heard Emily on the other end cursing Chicago traffic (a Midwestern rite of passage for those of you in the know), the gray haze evaporated and the sun came out. If there were horns blaring and angels farting rainbows, I don't know. I really didn't dwell too much on it at the time. I was just amazingly geeked to realize that after my many extended stays down there in the Indianapolis landscape, my girlfriend was finally making the pilgrimage to the Land o' Cheese to spend a weekend with yours truly.

   I had a heap of fun hanging out all weekend with Em. There were lots of smiles. Even the usual aches and pains could be mashed into the closet where they could protest but not annoy --kind of like that unruly child you were sure your neighbors' had stowed away after he ate too many paint chips and started thinking he was capable of leaping from the rooftops in a single bound.

   Wait. I can't be the only one whose childhood involves a paint-eating geek of a neighbor.

   Nonetheless, it's hard picking through the massive myriad of laughs we had to find the favorite bits that will forever be burned into my memory. There are just so many. But, I think the things that stick out the most are the quiet walks in the woods along the lake shore with the dog. Even in their largely naked state, the trees still had a way of blocking a lot of the wind that usually rumbles around the area, and with no leaves, the sun was allowed to reach the forest floor and do what it does best: shine and make things a little warmer. And, in this cold, mostly-sunless, winter world of Wisconsin, sun-fueled smiles are an even bigger rarity than Vitamin D, but they are always great to see.

-DP

You Should Read This.

2010-01-20T08:25:00.002-06:00

No. Seriously. Read This!

I used to be happy too.

Miscellaneous Insomniatic Ramblings.

2010-01-20T00:33:00.002-06:00

Currently, I'm half-heartedly watching a rebroadcast of Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, and I've been meaning to scribble a gripe about it for a while now. I have to say that it is absolutely one of the weirdest things ever slapped together. It's a poorly cobbled together collection of weak little clips and blurbs that are supposed to take place during the timeline of the series proper, but it's told from the point of view of the enemy.

Sounds nifty, right?

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it just up and ends somewhere around the middle of the first or second season of its parent series, and The plan, as it turns out is relatively simple: Kill all humans.

However, when it turns out that a handful of humans managed to somehow survive the original plan, the plan is changed, it adapts and the new and improved plan becomes: Kill all survivors.

Now, I'm not much of a plan-maker by trade, but I'll go out on a limb and say that perhaps something a little more involved that runs the length of the entire series would have been better. After all, you've got this quirky little dude who is pretty much the only one in the entire universe who knows exactly what is going on, and it just up and ends. They could have done so much more with that, but they failed.

As for any questions being answered, it's not going to happen. In fact, what I took away the first time I saw this was a whole steaming heap of more questions.

There is a bright spot, though. It was really spankin' nifty to learn more about Rick Worthy's character of Simon. He's a fantastic actor, and he has this odd little way of making you feel sympathetic while also making your skin crawl with all sorts of creepiness. So, I suppose it was kind of cool to have that expanded and it might be enough to make me think that the show isn't a complete waste.

In other news, I'm getting a little geeked at the upcoming collision of two authors who have influenced me and my imagination in two completely different decades, as they appear on the same website in the not too distant future.

It's filled me with a strange sense of spinning in circles.

I have signed books by both of them, and they have been sitting right beside one another for several years as my bookshelf takes on an organizational mind of its own, and when I heard the news, I just thought Well, I suppose that makes sense in some way.

And no. I'm not saying anything yet. I promise, though, I will.

On top of that, this whole mess in Massachusetts has me puzzled. Thankfully, I've mostly given up on ever having health care, and I've accepted my caste-like state of being uninsurable. I haven't much faith in America, and I certainly have no faith in Americans. We are a strange and foolish people who seem to delight or take some sick pride in the suffering of others. Perhaps it's a ceaseless reminder of how better we are than those unworthy folks who have to go without.

I don't know. People tell me that America is somehow the greatest nation in the world, and I have never really been able to understand why. When asked, they are always quick to tout our freedoms, but when I point out that many countries out there have many of the same freedoms, they tend to fall flat searching for anything else.

So, I've been puzzling over that. I don't think any nation can really claim to be the greatest. There isn't a competition. There's no shiny trophy. And, it terms of surviving and existing in cohesion and peace, I think the arrogance of today's patriotism is something perverted and vile. Yes. It's one thing to defend your country and love your country, and I salute those who do, and I always will. But, it's another thing to see everyone else in the world as somehow beneath you for no other reason than the fact that they were born somewhere else.

Maybe I'm just a bit strange.

-DP

Haiti: A Passing Thought.

2010-01-19T07:21:00.002-06:00

I've been reading reports out of Haiti about the lack of aid and that people are unable to get this aid soon enough to save a great deal of lives.

Conversely, I also am sitting here remembering that the festering heap of hatred and bigotry, Rush Limbaugh (and, naturally, a great many boot-licking, elected conservatives), said that Obama is acting too fast in sending aid to the people in Haiti. Moreover, on Fox News this morning, I caught a glimpse of a poll they were running that asked whether or not people would donate to help the people of Haiti, and 58% of viewers voted no.

Now, I haven't any problem with people not donating or anything. After all, it's their money, and they can do with it whatever they wish. However, as someone who has in the past voted Republican, it's amazing for me to see how today's Republican party has become this incurious, unthinking mob of witless, knuckle-dragging, hate-spewing, xenophobic yokels who are crippled by their many contradictions, utter lack of conviction, blatant hypocrisy, and a complete absence of any and all of the morals and compassion they once sought to define themselves with in order to convince a population that they are the so-called "good guys."

It's just astounding to me, and it's pretty clear that the Democrats have become the true "moral majority" and source of compassion in America while today's conservatives have become an irrational, crazy mob more interested in playing petty games and destroying whatever positive steps we take as a country.

And, in response to Limbaugh, I wonder what his thoughts are on the alacrity America displayed in providing aid to the victims of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami? Or, perhaps on the morning of September 11th, or in the hours following hurricane Katrina, was Rush Limbaugh distressed by the speed in which the world rallied to offer us help? And do Republicans agree with Rush?

Now, Democrats are always being accused of spinelessness and what have you. And, perhaps many of those assertions are valid. However, by incessantly failing to denounce or stand up for themselves in response to the bigoted, hate-filled utterances of Limbaugh and sundry conservative mouth pieces, Republicans have broadcast to the world that they are truly this nation's most gutless cowards.

Okay... Rant's over. Please, do what you can to keep the people of Haiti, as well as those desperately trying to help them, in your thoughts. The horrors coming out of that poor nation are incomprehensible.

My Weekend (The Short Version)...

2010-01-18T22:38:00.001-06:00

    It was fun.

   It was crazy.

   I raped the Fonz (there are pictures).

   And, when all was said and done, I seem to have wound up having more fun in this beer-soaked city in one weekend than I have ever had at any time before.

    But, yeah. Fonzie?

    I totally hit that!

    Suck it, Pinky Tuscadero!

-DP

P.S. Yes. There is more on the way, but I am currently too mind-smooshed and sleepy to write anything more complicated than... well... I raped the Fonz!

Who Needs a Ride?

2010-01-14T14:54:00.001-06:00

    Sometimes the internets reward us. Now and then, a website will come along, and that website can become a clearinghouse for all things weird and wild and head-scratchingly strange.

    Today, that website is You Drive What?

    There is something kind of slick in a website showcasing the strange things people do to their rides. Some are kind of neat, but I think the majority are just too freakin' weird for words. And, sometimes, that's the beauty of it all, isn't it?

    Well, go plunder through the pages to see what madness you can uncover. Maybe you'll find inspiration to trick out your own car.

-DP

Moods.

2010-01-14T14:47:00.001-06:00

    Yeah. I've been grumpy lately. It's not you, though. It's me... err... well, it's not me either. It's actually a result of all the freakin' morons out there.

   Seriously. If you don't believe me, just go to the grocery store at five o'clock and see how long you last before the urge to bolt the doors and torch the place with you still inside strikes. The last time I was at the store, that urge struck me about thirty seconds after I saw a man actually licking the display on the self-checkout machine.

    Yes.

    Licking.

    With his tongue.

    I don't understand why, and aside from the licking of the pretty, shiny LCD display, he looked normal. He was dressed better than me (who isn't though) and had car keys dangling from his hand with a little reward card on it. So, this guy was capable of operating a motor vehicle, but he was clearly lethally challenged by a computer display to the point where actually licking the damn thing made sense.

   Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem. There are four little self-checkout terminals in this store, and on a good day, they're all open and awaiting me and my assorted items. Unfortunately, this was not one of those good days, and the only functioning terminal just so happened to be the one this moron was slobbering all over.

    Needless to say, my response to this whole mess was to say "looks like someone is off his meds" in a voice loud enough for the Mad Licker to hear before walking over to a human-managed checkout line.

    Nonetheless, the whole thing stuck with me with its weirdness. And no. It's not what's making me grumpy. But, it does put a stranglehold on my idea that people are, umm... more considerate?

    Oh well, I promise to perk up. The World's Most Awesomest Girlfriend is coming to town this weekend, and I am sure that will brighten my big, fat, beaming moon face. But, you know, I'll write more about that later.

-DP

Looks Like a Nest is Missing It's Cuckoo.

2010-01-14T13:33:00.004-06:00

Funny...

Here's the paranoid, babbling psychopath Michele Bachmann doing what paranoid, babbling psychopaths do best:

I wonder if it would be helpful to just boycott the businesses and services in this lunatic's district to send the message about voting for someone who is so bloody irrational and insane that she actually suggests and accuses the President of being in bed with the terrorists who attacked us.

Or, maybe this dead-ass House and Senate could actually stop gobbling the dangling dicks of lobbyists long enough to demand that remarks on the Congressional floor be founded upon at least a little shred of reality and not the irrational paranoia of a flag-waving, jingoistic, ignorant and delusional twat.

It's not too hard. Just demand that she prove what she says and backs up her foolish assertions and hold the sniveling moron and her district accountable for her words.

Or, we could just give her a free pass again and make more jokes about her and her mental illnesses, give her that moment in the camera this sleazy attention whore so desperately craves, and obliviously continue along the delightful path toward an even more irrational and worthless government and country.

It's Narwahlicious.

2010-01-13T13:07:00.003-06:00

I think I need to eat this:

It's the Bacon-Chicken Narwahl. Doesn't that look pretty?
Now, the obvious question: Is it a schooling animal?

-DP

Cold and Absolute Christian Evil.

2010-01-13T11:40:00.007-06:00

Update (1:25 CST): Greg Laden has a larger collection of links for those looking for information and those who would like to help the people of Haiti here.

Update (3:05 CST): From the White House:

Good Afternoon,

The reports and images from Haiti of collapsed hospitals, crumbled homes, and men and women carrying their injured neighbors through the streets are truly heart-wrenching. As we learn more about the extent of the devastation, our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Haiti and Haitian Americans around our country who do not yet know the fate of their families and loved ones back home.

I have directed my Administration to respond with a swift, coordinated and aggressive effort to save lives. The people of Haiti will have the full support of the United States Government in the urgent effort to rescue those trapped beneath the rubble and to deliver the humanitarian relief -- the food, water and medicine -- that Haitians will need in the coming days.

This is also a time when we are reminded of the common humanity that we all share, and Americans have always responded to these situations with generosity of spirit. If you would like to support the urgent humanitarian effort in Haiti, I encourage you to visit our website where you can learn more about how to contribute:

http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/HaitiEarthquake

Americans trying to locate family members in Haiti are encouraged to contact the State Department at (888) 407-4747.

We will continue to stand with the people of Haiti and keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama

~~If you skip ahead to six minutes into the video~~ (The dishonest slugs at CBN have decided to "edit" the sickening comments of Robertson out of the original video; however, never fear! YouTube is here). Look and you will witness one of the most odious and vile displays of Christian arrogance in recent memory. It's amazing how evil and self-serving these horrible people are.

Really. It's sickening to see their definition of "help." Taking advantage of a poor and impoverished people in a time of such extreme need so as to swindle in followers to terrify further with your worthless superstitions is no way to help. And, any Christian who thinks that this is a great opportunity to preach their propaganda rather than offer any rational help to these genuinely suffering people is inhuman beyond words.

Moreover, blaming the Haitians for this quake because, in your fractured and irrational mind, they made a "deal" with one of your figments and consequently deserved to have their world destroyed, shows just how much of a blight upon this planet your religion truly is.

Go away, Christians. Please. Humanity begs you. For the love of this planet, take your insanity and leave and let us have the peace that we, as a species, deserve. If you can not help other than offering a worthless mythology, then what good are you to anyone?

And no. I don't want to hear the requisite bullshit line of apologies about how Pat, or anyone, isn't a "true Christian" or that he's old or any such nonsense. He's as much of a true Christian as anyone. If you don't think he's a true Christian, then get off your worthless asses and do something to stop this man from spewing his evil nonsense in the name of your religion. If not, you are just as much a part of the problem and just as culpable and just as worthless.

Anyway, for anyone out there who genuinely wants to help, I do hope, in these difficult times, that you can find a way to give what you can to The Red Cross to help in some way. Be it small or large, everything, I am sure, will be appreciated.

-DP

Cool.

2010-01-12T14:05:00.002-06:00

Cool.

I missed posting pictures.

So, let's see if this limping collection of words can be revived to the fun and entertaining thing it used to be. Personally, I don't really care one way or another. But, you know, the World's Most Awesomest Girlfriend™ has been thumping me about the head and neck demanding I write more, and I figure why not?

In a way, I kind of missed it, but the year of low-output was nice. The hands feel a little better, the brain feels a little stiff and full of who knows what, and, best of all, the heart is a little lighter and somewhat optimistic. The only trouble is that I am wedged into this inescapable limbo of American "health care," and when I sit and try to figure a way out, I just get instantly deflated to the point where I think seeing mushroom clouds over America would be a step in the right direction.

The problem isn't so much that I have a silly disease. It's that in order to get treatment for a silly disease that any other civilized nation on the planet would treat and send me on my way to find life, liberty and happiness, in America, I have to make less than $10,800 a year.

Wrap your flag-waving, anti-socialist minds around that one, okay?

If I make more than that so as to, I don't know, EAT, I lose that health care, this disease comes raging back, and I'm right back where I started.

Yay, America!

-DP

Yay, America!

2010-01-12T12:55:00.003-06:00

It's amazing how dumb we've become as a nation.

Poll: Most Americans support ethnic profiling in airline security

WASHINGTON — Americans are divided over whether President Obama's response to the foiled bombing of a Detroit-bound jetliner on Christmas Day went far enough, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll finds, amid broad support for the controversial practice of ethnic profiling in airline security.
(Full Story)

This would work except for the troubling fact that fake or stolen American passports are pretty easy to come by out there in the great big world. If anything, it's just one more hoop that a terrorist or future underpants bomber has to easily jump through.

click to embiggenify

-DP