The Uniform...

Some have asked why I don't post pictures of myself doing things since I've got this cool camera and a tendency to do things?

Well, I don't know. I photograph about as well as a gust of wind or the business end of a rhinoceros with food poisoning. In other words, I'm not pretty. Fortunately, I harbor no illusions.

Anyway, here's one of me bright and early. And yes, the look on my face is what you would expect to see if you held a cup of coffee in one hand and a bottle of Jagermeister in the other and asked me whether or not I wanted coffee with my breakfast.

Notice the hair?

I'm trying a new look. Hopefully, it will catch on and you'll see all the "beautiful people" wearing it come Oscar season next year. I think Clooney, Abe Vigoda and Delta Burke might be interested in copying my style. Hopefully, I'll hear from them soon enough since I really am due for a good shearing.

As for the chin-mullet, well... I like when food gets caught in there. After all, we're a country at war people! Waste nothing. The only drawback that comes with that sort of fuzz is that every single freakin' person on the damned planet expects you to laugh at Jeff #%@&-ing Foxworthy jokes. Gyeeagh! But, I've found Top Ramen in there a week after I ate them, so you take the good with the bad, I guess.

Never mind the whiskers. I'm lazy.

The t-shirt? Why yes. It's one of those t-shirts that looks like two t-shirts over one another which was all the rage a freakin' decade ago. It's that old, and it is damned ratty. But, it's a freakin' Wayne Newton t-shirt. Those things don't come around often, and you'd best hold onto them tightly when they do. I mean... Wayne freakin' Newton! I have it, baby! Instant street cred in a t-shirt from the Nineties.

The other shirt is a warm, soft, comfy fleece thing with buttons which hardly ever comes off. In fact, earlier today, I was lumbering down some sun-beaten roads while it was almost eighty degrees outside, and I was wearing it then (yeah. It takes me a while to understand and alter my wardrobe when the seasons change. In fact, all I know is that socks are bad every day of the year except for Christmas. But, I could be wearing a parka in July. I am that confused).

Everything other than what you see here is just unimportant. Sometimes, I wear a hat to protect my "do." But, today was obviously not one of those days.

Aside from that, I'm just wasting time.

-DP